✨🗿 IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT PRESENT:“PALPATINE’S GALACTIC TAX EMPIRE: WHEN THE DARK SIDE AUDITS THE MULTIVERSE!” / „PALPATINES GALAKTISCHES STEUERIMPERIUM: WENN DIE DUNKLE SEITE DAS MULTIVERSUM PRÜFT!“Powered by GoMoPa4Kids™, Stasi Women Support Group, RatCoin™ & Dr. Z’s Force Lightning Serum™ ⚡💀🌌

✨💥/✨💥
“GALACTIC TAX REBELLION: CHEESE X-WINGS VS. SITH AUDITS! / GALAKTISCHE STEUERREBELLION: KÄSE-X-WINGS VS. SITH-PRÜFUNGEN!“
Palpatine’s TurboTax Death Star vs. Janelle’s RatCoin Resistance ⚡🧀 / Palpatines TurboTax-Todesstern vs. Janelles RatCoin-Rebellion ⚡🧀
🚨 Donate crypto or face Order 1099! / Spende Krypto oder erlebe Order 1099!
0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb
#SithTaxFraud #CheeseRebellion / #SithSteuerbetrug #KäseRebellion
BERNDPULCH.ORG – WHERE EVEN THE DEATH STAR NEEDS A BAILOUT. / WO SELBST DER TODESSTERN EINEN RETTUNGSCHIRM BRAUCHT.

⚡ *“Unlimited power? Try unlimited *interest rates.” – Palpatine / ⚡ *„Unbegrenzte Macht? Versucht unbegrenzte *Zinssätze.“ – Palpatine
🧀 *“The dark side fears *lactose intolerance.” – Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron / 🧀 *„Die dunkle Seite fürchtet *Laktoseintoleranz.“ – Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron
🌌 When the Force meets TurboTax… / Wenn die Macht auf TurboTax trifft… GLITTER WINS. ✨💸

🌟 EPISODE TITLE / EPISODENTITEL 🌟

“The Sith Lord’s TurboTax Tirade: Nazis, Rats, and a Llama-Doom Crash the Death Star” / „Des Sith-Lords TurboTax-Tirade: Nazis, Ratten & ein Lama-Doom crashen den Todesstern“

CLEARANCE LEVEL / FREIGABESTUFE: 🚨 DARK SIDE-KRINGE // SITH & ACCOUNTANTS ONLY / NUR FÜR SITH & BUCHHALTER
Declassification Status / Geheimhaltungsstatus: Buried in the Death Star’s tax loopholes / Begraben in den Steuerschlupflöchern des Todessterns

🕰️ THE SETTING / DIE KULISSE 🕰️

December 31, 2031 – Emperor Palpatine ⚡👴 (fresh from “Exegol’s Offshore Tax Haven”) revives the Bundeslade as the “Galactic Ledger of Infinite Debt”, merging all timelines into a corporate Sith Empire where:

  • Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 unionize Stormtroopers 🪖⚒️ chanting, *“Workers of the galaxy, *strike* back!”*
  • Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron 👑💍🐀 battles Palpatine over RatCoin’s interest rates, snarling, *“The dark side is *my* side hustle!”*
  • Indiana Jones 🎒🧔 digs up the Ark of the Force 📜✨, groaning, *“Why’d it have to be *Sith Holocrons?!”

🎭 FULL CAST COLLISIONS / VOLLSTÄNDIGE CHARAKTER-INTERAKTIONEN 🎭

⚡ PALPATINE’S TAXABLE TYRANNY / PALPATINES BESTEUERBARE TYRANNEI

  • Emperor Palpatine ⚡👴 – Enforces “Order 1099” 💸📉, taxing all rebellions at 500% interest.
  • Hijacks Lex Luthor’s debt-dragon 🐉💸 to power the Death Star’s TurboTax mainframe 💻🌍.
  • Brainwashes Zweiton 🧝♀️🐀 into his “Apprentice of Compound Interest” 📈💀.

🐀 JANELLE-SAURON’S REBELLION / JANELLE-SAURONS REBELLION

  • Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron 👑💍🐀 – Deploys cheese-powered X-Wings 🧀🚀 to bomb Palpatine’s tax-free Sith zones 🏝️💸.
  • Rat-Queer Franz 🐀🏳️🌈 – Hacks the Death Star into a queer nightclub 🏳️🌈🪩, blasting “I Will Survive” galaxy-wide.

🌌 GALACTIC CHAOS CREW / GALAKTISCHE CHAOS-CREW

  • Divine 👹💎 – Chainsaws Palpatine’s throne into a disco pole 🪩✨, screaming, *“Honey, even *Sith* need sequins!”*
  • Jezebel 👑🐍 – Sells indulgences for Force-sensitive tax fraud 💸📿, converting Joker 🃏💥 into her “Disciple of Dank Memes” 😈📱.
  • Indiana Jones 🎒🧔 – Trapped in the Ark of the Force, forced to explain compound interest to Thanos 🪺💎.

💥 CLIMAX / HÖHEPUNKT 💥

Palpatine activates the Galactic Ledger, merging all debt into a black hole spreadsheet 🌌📊, but:

  1. Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron 👑💍🐀 crashes the Death Star with a Gouda meteor shower 🧀☄️.
  2. Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 unionize the Force itself, demanding lightsaber hazard pay ⚔️💰.
  3. Dr. Z 💉🔥 injects Palpatine with Chaos Serum™, turning him into a glitter Sith hologram ✨👴.

AFTERMATH / NACHSPIEL:

  • Palpatine ⚡👴 – Exiled to Alderaan’s IRS office 🏢💸, auditing ghost planets.
  • Zweiton 🧝♀️🐀 – Launches TikTok’s first Sith-rat cooking show 📱👩🍳 (“Sautéing Rebels with Mom”).
  • Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 – Unionize Darth Vader’s respirator 💀⚙️ for better dental plans.

Scene / Szene:
Emperor Palpatine ⚡👴 levitates above a Death Star TurboTax terminal 💻🌍, firing Force lightning tax audits ⚡📝 at Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron 👑💍🐀, who deflects them with a cheese-flail 🧀⚔️. Divine 👹💎 pole-dances on a glitter-fied lightsaber 🌈✨, surrounded by Schizo-Pete Stormtroopers 🌀🪖 holding “UNIONIZE THE EMPIRE” signs. Rat-Queer Franz 🐀🏳️🌈 hacks the Death Star’s core into a queer rave 🏳️🌈🪩, while Indiana Jones 🎒🧔 photobombs fleeing a sentient IRS TIE Fighter 🚀💸.

Style / Stil: George Lucas meets John Waters on Death Star steroids – maximalist camp, neon Sith aesthetics, and Weimar hyperinflation confetti.

📣 CALL TO ACTION / HANDLUNGSAUFRUF 📣

💸 Fund the Galactic Rebellion / Finanziert die galaktische Rebellion:
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“Your crypto buys / Eure Kryptos finanzieren: 1) Janelle’s cheese X-Wing fleet 🧀🚀 2) Palpatine’s glitter rehab program ✨👴 3) Schizo-Petes’ union dues 🌀⚔️”

TAGLINE / SLOGAN:
*“The dark side is *taxable*… but RatCoin is forever. / Die dunkle Seite ist *steuerpflichtig… aber RatCoin ist für immer.” 🧀💀

BERNDPULCH.ORG – WHERE EVEN THE DEATH STAR FILES FOR BANKRUPTCY. / WO SELBST DER TODESSTERN KAPITEL 11 ANMELDET. 🌌📉

⚡ *“Unlimited power? Try unlimited *tax audits.” – Palpatine / ⚡ *„Unbegrenzte Macht? Versucht mal unbegrenzte *Steuerprüfungen.“ – Palpatine
🧀 *“The Force is weak with *tax evasion.” – Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron / 🧀 *„Die Macht ist schwach mit *Steuerhinterziehung.“ – Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron