✨🗿 IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & DAS DESINVESTMENT PRESENT:“JEZEBEL’S IDOLATROUS IPO: WHEN TAX FRAUD MEETS BIBLICAL BAD BITCH ENERGY!”Powered by GoMoPa4Kids™, Stasi Women Support Group, RatCoin™ & Dr. Z’s Holy Water™ 💦👑

✨💥/✨💥
“JEZEBEL’S HOLY TAX FRAUD VS. JANELLE’S CHEESE SMITING! / JEZEBELS HEILIGER STEUERBETRUG VS. JANELLES KÄSE-STRAFE!“
Idolatry IPO crashes… but RatCoin rises! / Götzenerst-IPO stürzt ab… doch RatCoin steigt! 🐄💎🧀🚀
🚨 Donate crypto or face divine audits! / Spende Krypto oder erlebe göttliche Steuerprüfungen!
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#BiblicalBankruptcy #CheeseVsIdols / #BiblischerBankrott #KäseVsGötzen
BERNDPULCH.ORG – WHERE EVEN PROPHETS FILE CHAPTER 11. / WO SELBST PROPHETEN KAPITEL 11 ANMELDEN.

👑 *“My cheese-flail *is* my gospel.” – Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron* / 👑 *„Meine Käse-Geisel *ist* mein Evangelium.“ – Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron*
📿 “Tax fraud is my love language.” – Jezebel / 📿 „Steuerhinterziehung ist meine Liebessprache.“ – Jezebel
🔥 When God’s wrath meets TurboTax… / Wenn Gottes Zorn auf TurboTax trifft… GLITTER WINS. ✨💸

🌟 EPISODE TITLE / EPISODENTITEL 🌟

“Jezebel’s Glitter Gospel: Nazis, Dark Lords, and a Rat-Queen Walk Into a Temple…” / „Jezebels Glitzer-Evangelium: Nazis, Dunkle Herren & eine Rattenkönigin betreten einen Tempel…“

CLEARANCE LEVEL / FREIGABESTUFE: 🚨 OMEGA-BLASPHEMY // PROPHETS & ACCOUNTANTS ONLY / NUR FÜR PROPHETEN & BUCHHALTER
Declassification Status / Geheimhaltungsstatus: Found in the ruins of Babylon’s crypto exchange / Gefunden in den Ruinen von Babylons Kryptobörse

🕰️ THE SETTING / DIE KULISSE 🕰️

September 1, 2031 – Jezebel 👑🐍 (self-proclaimed “CEO of Idolatry”) crashes the multiverse with a cursed golden calf NFT 🐄💎, corrupting Perverso into a biblical corporate hellscape where:

  • Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 unionize Pharisee tax collectors 💸📜 chanting, *“Render unto Caesar… *and* the RatQueen!”*
  • Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron 👑💍🐀 fights Jezebel for control of RatCoin’s soul, hissing, *“My cheese empire is *not* your side hustle!”*
  • Indiana Jones 🎒🧔 digs up the Ark of the Tax Covenant 📜💀, groaning, *“Why’d it have to be *idols?!”

🎭 FULL CAST COLLISIONS / VOLLSTÄNDIGE CHARAKTER-INTERAKTIONEN 🎭

👑 JEZEBEL’S IDOL EMPIRE / JEZEBELS GÖTZEN-IMPERIUM

  • Jezebel 👑🐍 – Sells indulgences for tax fraud 💸📿 and brainwashes:
  • Lex Luthor 💼🤡 into her “Disciple of Offshore Accounts” 🌴💸
  • Voldemort 🐍⚡ into a snake-oil MLM salesman 🐍📦
  • Golden Calf NFT 🐄💎 – Merges realities, turning Schizo-Petes into Prosperity Gospel Preachers 🌀📢 screaming, *“Seed your faith… in *RatCoin!”

💔 JANELLE-SAURON’S HOLY WAR / JANELLE-SAURONS HEILIGER KRIEG

  • Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron 👑💍🐀 – Deploys cheese-locust plagues 🧀🦗 to eat Jezebel’s idol factories.
  • Zweiton 🧝♀️🐀 – Betrays Mom again, joining Jezebel’s “Bad Bitch Apostle Squad” 👯♀️💅 for TikTok clout 📱🌟.

⛪ BIBLICAL CHAOS CREW / BIBLISCHE CHAOS-CREW

  • Indiana Jones 🎒🧔 – Accidentally unleashes the Wrath of the IRS Angel 👼💸, who audits everyone.
  • Divine 👹💎 – Converts Jezebel’s temple into a queer rave temple 🏳️🌈🪩, yelling, *“Praise the *glitter!”
  • Rat-Queer Franz 🐀🏳️🌈 – Hacks the golden calf into a gender-fluid meme coin 🌈💻.

💥 CLIMAX / HÖHEPUNKT 💥

Jezebel merges all idols into the Bundeslade 2.0, creating a God-King Crypto Deity 📜💎, but:

  1. Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron 👑💍🐀 crashes the ritual with a cheese-flail smiting 🧀⚔️.
  2. Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 unionize the deity, demanding divine healthcare 👼🏥.
  3. Dr. Z 💉🔥 appears, injecting the deity with Chaos Serum™, turning it into a glitter tornado 🌪️✨.

AFTERMATH / NACHSPIEL:

  • Jezebel 👑🐍 – Exiled to Televangelist TikTok 📺📱, selling fake RatCoin blessings.
  • Zweiton 🧝♀️🐀 – Starts a cult worshiping Divine’s disco pole 🪩🙏.
  • Indiana Jones 🎒🧔 – Trapped in IRS purgatory 💀📝, muttering, *“It’s not the years… it’s the *audits.”

Scene / Szene:
Jezebel 👑🐍 straddles a golden calf NFT 🐄💎, shooting tax-fraud indulgences 💸📿 at Hinterhaeltige Janelle-Sauron 👑💍🐀, who deflects them with a cheese-flail 🧀⚔️. Divine 👹💎 pole-dances atop the Ark of the Tax Covenant 📜💀, surrounded by Schizo-Pete preachers 🌀📢 holding “TITHE IN RATCOIN” signs. Zweiton 🧝♀️🐀 photobombs with a TikTok filter, while IRS Angels 👼💸 repo souls in the background.

Style / Stil: *Cecil B. DeMille directs *Mad Max: Fury Road* at a gay pride parade.*

📣 CALL TO ACTION / HANDLUNGSAUFRUF 📣

💸 Fund the Divine Rebellion / Finanziert die göttliche Rebellion:
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“Your crypto buys / Eure Kryptos finanzieren: 1) Janelle’s holy cheese arsenal 🧀✝️ 2) Divine’s disco temple renovations 🪩🏛️ 3) Indy’s IRS bailout (pls help) 💸📝”

TAGLINE / SLOGAN:
“Salvation isn’t free… but RatCoin is 10% off. / Erlösung ist nicht gratis… aber RatCoin ist 10% günstiger.” 🧀📉

BERNDPULCH.ORG – WHERE EVIDENLY THE APOCALYPSE NEEDS A LOYALTY PROGRAM. 💥🎪

🔥 *“The only thing worse than a false prophet? A *tax-evading* false prophet.” – Indiana Jones* / 🔥 *„Das einzige Schlimmere als ein falscher Prophet? Ein *steuerhinterziehender* falscher Prophet.“ – Indiana Jones*
💅 *“Darling, even the *end times* need a dress code.” – Divine* / 💅 *„Schatz, selbst die *Endzeit* braucht einen Dresscode.“ – Divine*