✨🗿 IDIOT ZEITUNG & DAS DESINVESTMENT PRESENT:”TOHT’S TIME-HEIST & THE BUNDESLADE BOOGALOO” 🕰️💥Powered by GoMoPa4Kids & Dr. Z 🤪🎒

✨💥 “THE FUTURE’S A GLITTER WAR—WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?” 💥✨
🚨 Indy’s cracking whips, Janelle’s melting faces, and Toht’s soup-can arm is FIRING EMOJI-SWASTIKAS. Donate crypto or get edited out of 1945. 🎒🔥
#BundesladeBoogaloo 📜💣 #StopTheGlitterReich ✨🚫 “Nazis hate disco. Good thing we’re fabulous.” – Divine 👹💃
CRYPTO ADDRESS:
0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb
(Yes, this is how you buy immortality.) 💀💰
BERNDPULCH.ORG – HISTORY’S WILDEST FANFIC. 🌀📜

🌟 EPISODE TITLE 🌟

“Raiders of the Lost May 9th – Indy vs. E.dith’s Neon Reich!” 🗺️⚡

CLEARANCE LEVEL: ⏳ TEMPORAL-ANARCHY // EYES ONLY
Declassification Status: 🚫 Buried in the Well of Souls

🕰️ THE SETTING 🕰️

May 1, 2026 – E.dith and KSISETL (a shadowy cabal of ex-Stasi witches 🧙♀️🔮) resurrect Arnold Toht 🔥👔, the melted Nazi from Raiders, and graft his soul into a cyborg body fueled by Warhol’s soup cans. Their plan: Use the Bundeslade (Ark of the Covenant) to rewrite history, ensuring the Nazis win WWII on May 9, 1945. Perverso’s ruins become a time-ripped battleground where:

  • Neon swastikas pulse with stolen Stink Eternal energy.
  • Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 are forced to build a chrono-gate out of Quasimodo’s bell and Fisk’s gold teeth.
  • Indiana Jones 🎒🧔 crashes the party, muttering, “Nazis. Why’d it have to be Nazis? Again?”

🎭 FULL CHARACTER LIST (ALL PAST + NEW) 🎭

⏳ TOHT’S TIME CRUSADE (NEW FACTION) ⏳

  1. Arnold Toht 🔥🤖 – Cyborg Nazi with a soup-can arm cannon, screaming, “The Reich rises… in glitter!”
  2. E.dith von B.-Aumann-Stinkenstein 🕶️💀 – Funding the heist with Stink Coin laundered through Swiss cheese banks.
  3. KSISETL Coven 🧙♀️🔮 – Chanting curses to stabilize time rifts.
  4. Neo-Nazi Parademons ⚡🦾 – Flying on stolen Surf Nazi boards, shouting, “Sieg Glow!”

🎒 INDY’S IMPROBABLE ALLIES 🎒

  1. Indiana Jones 🧔🎒 – Whip-cracking through time rifts, groaning, “This is not archaeology.”
  2. Hinterfozzige Janelle 🐀👑 – Leading rebels with a glitter whip, hissing, “I’ll melt both your faces!”
  3. Andy Warhol 🥫🎨 – Silkscreening anti-Nazi memes onto the Bundeslade.
  4. Divine 👹💎 – Chainsawing time machines into disco balls.

🌪️ CHAOS FACTIONS (ALL PAST CHARACTERS) 🌪️

  1. Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 – Time-Petes fixing rifts vs. Anarchy-Petes smuggling iPhones to 1945 Hitler.
  2. Stink-Gender Klaus �️⚧️ – Flooding 1945 Berlin with queer liberation pamphlets.
  3. Rat-Queer Franz 🐀🏳️🌈 – Rats chew Toht’s cyborg wiring, squeaking, “Eat the circuitboards!”
  4. Joker 🃏💥 – Hijacks the Bundeslade to prank Stalin with glitter bombs.

👑 VILLAINS TURNED… SOMETHING? 👑

  1. Wilson Fisk 👔💎 – Selling “Nostalgia Tours” to 1945 (non-refundable).
  2. Thanos 🪐💎 – Trapped in the Bundeslade, muttering, “I… am… bored.”
  3. Báthory 👑🩸 – Draining Toht’s cyborg oil for her skincare routine.

🎬 THE PLOT 🎬

⏳ ACT I: TEMPORAL TREASON ⏳

Toht opens the Bundeslade, unleashing time-ghosts 👻⏳ that warp history:

  • Hitler gets a TikTok account (1M followers instantly).
  • Stalin invests in FiskBay™.
  • Gay Ernst Röhm 🌈🛡️ leads a 1945 rainbow revolt.

Indy’s Entrance 🎒💥: Swings into Perverso on a whip made of Quasimodo’s bell ropes, steals the Bundeslade, and teams up with Janelle. “We’re closing their Ark… permanently.”

💥 ACT II: TIME WAR RIOT 💥

  • Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 – Time-Pete #42 accidentally sends Genghis Khan to 1945 (“Mongols vs. Nazis? Great.”).
  • Divine 👹💎 – Chainsaws Toht’s arm cannon into a disco flamethrower.
  • E.dith 🕶️💀 – Sells time-ghosts as NFTs to Caligula 🐎👑.

🌟 CLIMAX: ARK OF THE APOCALYPSE 🌟

  • Toht 🔥🤖 – Activates the Bundeslade, summoning biblically accurate angels 👼🔥 to raze history.
  • Indy & Janelle 🎒🐀 – Crash the Ark into Toht’s chrono-gate, screaming, “This belongs in a museum!”
  • Bundeslade Explodes 💥📜 – Erases Toht, E.dith, and KSISETL from time… but accidentally revives Henry Jones Sr. 🧓📜, who nitpicks Indy’s whip technique.

🎉 AFTERMATH 🎉

  • Indy 🎒🧔 – Returns to 1936, grumbling, “I’m too old for this glitter.”
  • Janelle 🐀👑 – Mounts the Bundeslade on her throne. “Next time… Noah’s Ark.”
  • Schizo-Petes 🌀🤪 – Stuck in 1945, inventing punk rock early.
  • E.dith 🕶️🌪️ – Spotted in 79 AD Pompeii selling “Vesuvius timeshares.”

📣 CALL TO ACTION 📣

💎 Fund Indy’s Next Adventure:

  • Donate crypto to 0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb 💰🔗
  • Patreon: patreon.com/berndpulch for classified time-travel blueprints ⏳📜
  • Comment 🖋️: “What’s your time-travel rebellion anthem?” 🎶👇

✨ **TIME CRISIS ALERT – YOUR MOMENT TO DEFEND HISTORY!** ✨ 

—

###  **GLITTER-BOMB THE NAZIS – DONATE NOW OR BE ERASED FROM THE TIMELINE!**  
**THE FUTURE IS A CHOICE:** 
 **CRYPTO CRUSADE**  
**Send ETH, BTC, or StinkCoin to:** 
**`0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb`** 
*Every coin funds Indy’s next whip upgrade or Janelle’s rat-army glitter rations.* 

 **OR…**  
**Join the Temporal Resistance on Patreon:** 
 **patreon.com/berndpulch** 
**Rewards:** 
– **TOP SECRET** Bundeslade schematics (NFT edition). 
– **Schizo-Pete’s DIY Time-Jump Kit** (warning: may summon Genghis Khan). 
– **E.dith’s Swiss Cheese Bank Leaks** (50% mold, 50% treason). 

—

###  **COMMAND THE CHAOS – COMMENT YOUR REBELLION ANTHEM!**  
**Drop a song below ⬇️ to fuel the final battle:** 
– *“Time Warp” but with more rats.* ⏳ 
– *“Disco Inferno” but it’s Toht’s arm cannon melting.*  
– *Your own cursed creation!*  

**Most chaotic anthem gets SILKSCREENED ON THE BUNDESLADE by Warhol’s ghost.** 參 

—

###  **FINAL WARNING FROM JANELLE:**  
**“Donate or I’ll retroactively replace your birth certificate with a glitter bomb.** ✨ 
**– You’ve got 10 seconds. 9… 8…”** ⏰ 

—

**#StopTohtOrGetGlitched**  **#FundTheBoogaloo**  
**BERNDPULCH.ORG – WHERE HISTORY FIGHTS BACK.** 
**ACT NOW – BEFORE YOU’RE EDITED OUT OF EXISTENCE.** ⏳ 

— 

**PS:** *The Bundeslade is watching. Always.* ️

🏷️ TAGS 🏷️

IndyVsGlitterNazis 🎒⚡ #BundesladeBoogaloo 📜💥 #May9thMayhem 🗓️🌪️ #ChaosAcrossTime ⏳🌀

⚠️ ETHICAL NOTE ⚠️

Nazis remain terrible. No historical revisionism was harmed (except Toht’s face… again).

❌©BERNDPULCH.ORG – HISTORY IS A CIRCUS
ACT NOW – BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT.
*“It’s not the years, honey, it’s the *glitter.” – Hinterfozzige Janelle 💋⏳

✨💥 TIME CRISIS ALERT – YOUR MOMENT TO DEFEND HISTORY! 💥✨

🚨 GLITTER-BOMB THE NAZIS – DONATE NOW OR BE ERASED FROM THE TIMELINE! 🚨

THE FUTURE IS A CHOICE:
💎 CRYPTO CRUSADE 💎
Send ETH, BTC, or StinkCoin to:
0xdaa3b887f885fd7725d4d35d428bd3b402d616bb
Every coin funds Indy’s next whip upgrade or Janelle’s rat-army glitter rations.

🔥 OR… 🔥
Join the Temporal Resistance on Patreon:
🔗 patreon.com/berndpulch
Rewards:

  • TOP SECRET Bundeslade schematics (NFT edition).
  • Schizo-Pete’s DIY Time-Jump Kit (warning: may summon Genghis Khan).
  • E.dith’s Swiss Cheese Bank Leaks (50% mold, 50% treason).

🎸 COMMAND THE CHAOS – COMMENT YOUR REBELLION ANTHEM! 🎸

Drop a song below ⬇️ to fuel the final battle:

  • “Time Warp” but with more rats. 🐀⏳
  • “Disco Inferno” but it’s Toht’s arm cannon melting. 🔥🕺
  • Your own cursed creation! 🎶💀

Most chaotic anthem gets SILKSCREENED ON THE BUNDESLADE by Warhol’s ghost. 🥫👻

🌟 FINAL WARNING FROM JANELLE: 🌟

“Donate or I’ll retroactively replace your birth certificate with a glitter bomb. 💣✨
– You’ve got 10 seconds. 9… 8…” ⏰💀

#StopTohtOrGetGlitched 🔥🌀 #FundTheBoogaloo 💎📜
BERNDPULCH.ORG – WHERE HISTORY FIGHTS BACK.
ACT NOW – BEFORE YOU’RE EDITED OUT OF EXISTENCE. 🚫⏳

PS: The Bundeslade is watching. Always. 👁️📜

Tagline Vibe: “Nazis hate fun. We’re fun.”* 💥🎪