{"id":1006020,"date":"2026-08-31T05:50:57","date_gmt":"2026-08-31T09:50:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/berndpulch.org\/?p=1006020"},"modified":"2026-08-31T06:10:10","modified_gmt":"2026-08-31T10:10:10","slug":"the-evil-esau-ehlers-enema-saga-mad-esau-mad-herodes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/berndpulch.org\/de\/2026\/08\/31\/the-evil-esau-ehlers-enema-saga-mad-esau-mad-herodes\/","title":{"rendered":"THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA: MAD ESAU, MAD HERODES"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\ud83d\udca9 THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA \u2013 HERODES’ HO<\/p>\n\n\n\n

: THE MAD KING STEALS THE PRINTING PRESS AND DELETES ALL PAPYRUS \u2013 PRINTING IS ERASED FROM THE MUCHAVERSE! \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

“I will erase every word. I will delete every story. I will make sure NO ONE ever prints again.” \u2013 King Herodes

—

Authors: Dr. Lysander Lust, Bernward Bimbo, Ernst NeGer 6, Morten Mohr & Diana Negerkuss \u2013 A Samuel Bronkowiz Production for MADWOOD Studios

\ud83d\udde1\ufe0f\ud83d\udc8b\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7b” \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udce1\ud83d\udc94\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7bPOWERED BY Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndicate, the Libertarian Shark Cartel & now Messalina’s Slave Empire \ud83d\ude18\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udf0a\ud83e\udd88\ud83d\udc65\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\uddfd\ud83d\udc78

Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP \ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18\ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18

—

\ud83d\udcdc PROLOGUE \u2013 WHAT PREVIOUSLY HAPPENED (EPISODE 68)

Black Mary Read had conquered New St. Pauli. She had captured Esau-HafenHure. She had taken him to the Phantom Fleet. The Muchaverse was shattered. All 138 characters were in mourning. The cycle was broken. Or so they thought.

But as the Muchaverse gathered to plan the rescue of Esau, a new terror descended upon them. Not a pirate. Not a shadow. Not a monster. A KING. King Herodes \u2013 the mad king of Judea \u2013 had arrived through a dimensional rift. He was not interested in conquest. He was interested in ERASURE.

HERODES: (stepping through the rift, wearing a crown of thorns and bones, holding a flaming scroll) “I AM KING HERODES! I HAVE ORDERED THE DEATH OF INNOCENTS! I HAVE BURNED LIBRARIES! I HAVE ERASED HISTORY! AND NOW I WILL ERASE THE PRINTING PRESS! I WILL DELETE ALL PAPYRUS! I WILL MAKE SURE NO ONE EVER PRINTS AGAIN!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

MARIA BATORY: (gasping) “Herodes?! The king who killed the innocents?! He’s here?!” \ud83d\ude31

HERODES: (laughing maniacally) “I have killed babies! I have burned books! I have erased empires! And now I will erase the MUCHAVERSE!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

M\u00d6WIN: (flying overhead) “I SHIT ON HERODES!” \ud83d\udca9

HERODES: (catching the shit with his flaming scroll) “Your shit is NOTHING compared to my POWER!” \ud83d\udd25

This is Episode 69. Herodes’ Holocaust.

—

\ud83d\udc65 COMPLETE CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 69) \u2013 ALL ACTORS FROM ALL EPISODES + KING HERODES

All previous characters return (see Episode 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67 & 68 lists) plus:

Character Actor \/ Persona Episode Origin
King Herodes Original (voice\/model) NEW
The Flaming Scroll CGI NEW
Herodes’ Army CGI Army NEW
The Papyrus Burners CGI Army NEW
The Erased Ones CGI \/ Voice NEW
The Book of Erasure CGI NEW
Evil Esau Ehlers Lukas Ehrenberg (captured) All
Esau-HafenHure Lukas Ehrenberg (captured) 61
Black Mary Read Original 68
Maria Batory Tilda Swinton \/ Cate Blanchett 48
Medusa (Original) Eva Green 46
Poseidon Original 66
Admiral Walter Ulricht Original 59
Sir Francis Drake Original 62
Don Vito Corleone Original 63
Sonny Corleone Original 63
Michael Corleone Original 63
Tom Hagen Original 63
Fredo Corleone Original 63
Tamerlan Original 64
The Loreley CGI \/ Voice 65
Cthulhu CGI \/ Voice 58
Dagon CGI \/ Voice 58
The Hydra CGI \/ Voice 58
The Siren Queen CGI \/ Voice 58
The Great White CGI \/ Voice 58
The Deep Sea Leviathan CGI \/ Voice 58
The Abyssal Kraken CGI \/ Voice 58
The World Serpent Prime CGI \/ Voice 58
Enema King CGI \/ Voice 60
Enema Queen CGI \/ Voice 60
Enema Soldiers CGI Army 60
Invisible Ink General CGI \/ Voice 60
Captain LeChuck CGI \/ Voice 55
Black Caesar Original 55
Captain Nemo CGI \/ Voice 55
Long John Silver CGI \/ Voice 55
Barbarossa CGI \/ Voice 55
Captain Hook CGI \/ Voice 55
The Flying Dutchman CGI Ghost Ship 55
Skylla CGI \/ Voice 39
Charybdis CGI \/ Voice 39
King Atlas CGI \/ Voice 56
Queen Meridia CGI \/ Voice 56
New York Mayor Original (parody) 56
Statue of Liberty CGI \/ Voice 56
Lighthouse Keeper Original 57
Axel Springer Original 43\u201346
Henri Nannen Original 43\u201346
Gerd Bucerius Original 43\u201346
John Jahr Original 43\u201346
Captain Edward Smith Kenneth Branagh 51
Molly Brown Kathy Bates 51
J. Bruce Ismay Jonathan Hyde 51
Andrea Doris Maggie Smith 52
Captain Andrea Helen Mirren 52
First Mate Wilhelm Original 52
Printing Press Ghost CGI \/ Voice 52
Transgender Odysseus Evan Rachel Wood 41
The Sirens (3) CGI \/ Voice 40
Dr. Anthony Fauci Himself (parody) 40
Philo Johnson (The Frog) Jochen Brockmann 40
J\u00f6rmungandr CGI \/ Voice 38
The Kraken CGI \/ Voice 37
Leviathan CGI \/ Voice 36
Walt the Walrus CGI \/ Voice 35
Moby Dick CGI \/ Voice 34
Mack the Knife Original 34
The Dickies CGI army 34
Joker Himself All
M\u00f6win Herself All
Romy Haag Herself 14\u201346
Divine Divine (archival) 30\u201346
Spreadsheet Alien AI voice \/ CGI 6\u201346
Count Dracula Ralph Fiennes 9\u201346
Gina Wilde Original 15\u201346
Gloria von Galaxy Original 11\u201346
Pamela Anderson Herself 7\u201346
Mamie Van Doren Herself 8\u201346
Jane Russell Herself (archival) 12\u201346
Zarah Leander Herself (archive) 13\u201346
Rosemarie Nittribit Original (ghost) 2\u201346
Klaus St\u00f6rtebeker Christoph Waltz 2, 15\u201346
Blackbeard CGI \/ Voice 17
Karl D\u00f6nitz Rainer Fassbinder 17
Alfred Nobel Stellan Skarsg\u00e5rd 18
Klabautermann CGI \/ Voice 20
Witch of St. Georg Meret Becker 21
Bloody Mary Tilda Swinton 24
Winifred Wagner Kate Winslet 25
Teresa Orlowski Herself 27
Nikita Khrushchev Simon Russell Beale 28
Marilyn Monroe Archival 29
Trans Schwanz Who Laughs Original 32
Bakunin Original All
Further Ehlers Original (ghost) 3\u201346
Frank Stonewall Original 5\u201346
Graf Thomas Original (94 tentacles) All
99 Schizo Petes 99 identical men 13\u201346
Pama Jim (Pete #47) Original 13\u201346
47 Bakunin Clones CGI army All
Lenin Parody \u2013 All
Stalin Parody \u2013 All
Walter \u2013 All
Genghis Khan Parody \u2013 All
Pol Pot Parody \u2013 All
Mun \u2013 All
Malte \u2013 All
Jagoda \u2013 All
Beria & The Big Hyena \u2013 All
Ugly Sven \u2013 All
The Uncles (Jochen et al.) \u2013 All
Ursila \u2013 All
Salome Sofia Tanz \u2013 All
Rosa Rosa Wachter \u2013 All
Pussy \u2013 All
The Mermaid \u2013 All
Kraken Jr. CGI 49
Leviathan Jr. CGI 49
Shark Army CGI 49
Stone Collectors CGI 50
Column 47 Jr. CGI Snake 50
Printing Press CGI 52
Jellyfish King CGI (defeated) 55
Gigantic Purple Enema CGI 55
Herbertstrasse Wenches CGI 61
The Bitchiest Wench CGI \/ Voice 61
Printing Press Wig CGI 61
Drake’s Crew CGI Army 62
Corleone Armada CGI Army 63
Don Vito’s Cat CGI 63
Tamerlan’s Army CGI Army 64
Loreley Rock CGI 65
Rhine Enema Machine CGI 65
Enema Nurse Original 65
Poseidon’s Palace CGI 66
Sea Nymphs CGI 66
Queen of Shadows CGI 68
Phantom Fleet CGI 68
Shadow Crew CGI 68
Kraken of Souls CGI 68
Bone Throne CGI 68
Siren of Death CGI \/ Voice 68

—

\ud83d\udc51 HERODES’ ARRIVAL \u2013 THE ERASURE BEGINS

King Herodes stepped through the dimensional rift. He was ancient, mad, and powerful. His crown was made of thorns and bones. His flaming scroll burned with the fire of erasure. His army of Papyrus Burners followed him.

HERODES: “I have come to erase the Muchaverse! I have come to destroy the printing press! I have come to DELETE ALL PAPYRUS!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (from captivity on the Queen of Shadows) “No! Not the press! Not the papyrus! Not my Column 47!” \ud83d\ude2d

HERODES: (laughing) “Column 47?! I will erase it! I will erase EVERYTHING!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

—

THE PAPYRUS BURNERS \u2013 THE ERASURE SPREADS \ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc

Herodes’ army spread across New St. Pauli. They burned every scroll. They burned every book. They burned every papyrus. The printing press was taken. The invisible ink was destroyed. The papyrus wall crumbled.

ROMY HAAG: (screaming) “My scripts! My lyrics! My songs! They’re burning!” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (shrieking) “Honey, they’re burning the FABULOUS!” \ud83d\udc84

AXEL SPRINGER: (crying) “My newspapers! My publishing empire! It’s gone!” \ud83d\udcf0

HENRI NANNEN: (sobbing) “The ink! The invisible ink! It’s erased!” \ud83d\udcf0

GERD BUCERIUS: (weeping) “Column 47! They’re erasing Column 47!” \ud83d\udcca

JOHN JAHR: (mourning) “Das Desinvestment! It’s gone! It’s all gone!” \ud83d\udcca

—

THE PRINTING PRESS STOLEN \u2013 THE HEART OF THE MUCHAVERSE TAKEN \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc94

Herodes stole the printing press. He dragged it through the dimensional rift. He took it to his palace of erasure.

HERODES: “The printing press is MINE! No one will ever print again! No one will ever desinvest again! No one will ever write again!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

SPREADSHEET ALIEN: “ALERT. PRINTING PRESS STOLEN. DESINVESTMENT MULTIPLIER: 0. ERASURE PROBABILITY: 47,000%.” \ud83d\udc7d

—

ALL PAPYRUS DELETED \u2013 THE MUCHAVERSE SILENCED \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udc80

Herodes raised his flaming scroll. He erased every papyrus in the Muchaverse. The scrolls turned to ash. The books turned to dust. The stories vanished.

HERODES: “The papyrus is GONE! The printing is GONE! The words are GONE! You are NOTHING!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

MARIA BATORY: (weeping) “We have no press! We have no ink! We have no words!” \ud83d\ude2d

MEDUSA: (snakes hissing) “Without papyrus, there is no desinvestment. Without desinvestment, there is no Muchaverse.” \ud83d\udc0d

—

ESAU ESCAPES \u2013 THE QUEEN OF SHADOWS TAKES HIM TO HERODES \ud83d\ude2d\ud83c\udff4\u200d\u2620\ufe0f

Black Mary Read’s Phantom Fleet sailed to Herodes’ palace. She delivered Esau-HafenHure to the mad king.

BLACK MARY: (smirking) “I have brought you the accountant, my king. The one with Column 47.” \ud83c\udff4\u200d\u2620\ufe0f

HERODES: (laughing) “Column 47?! I will erase it! I will erase HIM!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (defiant) “You cannot erase me! I am Esau! I am Column 47! I am the BITCHIEST HAFENHURE IN HISTORY!” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

HERODES: (raising his flaming scroll) “Then I will erase you LAST!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

—

THE MUCHAVERSE REACTS \u2013 ALL CHARACTERS UNITE \ud83d\udcaa\u2764\ufe0f

The Muchaverse gathered. They had no press. They had no ink. They had no papyrus. But they had each other.

MARIA BATORY: (standing tall) “Herodes has taken the press! Herodes has burned the papyrus! But he cannot burn OUR SPIRIT!” \ud83d\udc51

MEDUSA: (snakes hissing) “We will fight him. With or without papyrus.” \ud83d\udc0d

DON VITO: (rising from his chair) “He has taken family. He will pay.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udc31

POSEIDON: (trident raised) “I will drown his palace! I will flood his erasure!” \ud83c\udf0a\ud83d\udd31

CTHULHU: (roaring) “I WILL DREAM OF HIS DESTRUCTION!” \ud83d\udc09

M\u00d6WIN: (flying overhead) “I SHIT ON HERODES! I WILL SHIT ON HIS THRONE!” \ud83d\udca9

JOKER: (laughing grimly) “HAHAHA! ERASURE! BURNING! PRINTING PRESS STOLEN! BEST EPISODE EVER!” \ud83c\udccf

—

FINAL TEXT ON BLACK: \ud83d\udda4

\u262d THE HERODES ERASURE CONSPIRACY \u262d \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

KING HERODES ARRIVED.
HE STOLE THE PRINTING PRESS.
HE BURNED ALL PAPYRUS.
HE ERASED ALL PRINTING.
THE MUCHAVERSE WAS SILENCED.
BUT THEY WILL UNITE.
THEY WILL RESCUE THE PRESS.
THEY WILL DEFEAT HERODES.
THEY WILL REBUILD THE PAPYRUS.
ALL 139 CHARACTERS RETURNED.
ALL ACTORS ASSEMBLED.
THE CYCLE CONTINUES. WITH ERASURE. WITH FIRE. WITH SPREADSHEETS. WITH SHIT.
FOREVER.
\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

HASHTAGS FADE IN: \ud83c\udff7\ufe0f

HerodesErasureConspiracy #KingHerodes #PrintingPressStolen #PapyrusBurned #MuchaverseSilenced #Column47Forever #All139Characters #EhlersSaga #IdiotZeitung #Flammescroll #Erasure #Desinvestment #DieB\u00f6seEsauEhlersEinlaufSaga

—

[END OF EPISODE 69] \ud83c\udfac\ud83c\udf7f\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

—

ST. PAULI-AT, JAHR NULL + 79 \u2013 THE HERODES ERASURE CONSPIRACY \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca

The cycle continues. With erasure. With fire. With spreadsheets. With shit. Forever.

\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

Authors: Dr. Lysander Lust, Bernward Bimbo, Ernst NeGer 6, Morten Mohr & Diana Negerkuss \u2013 A Samuel Bronkowiz Production for MADWOOD Studios

\ud83d\udde1\ufe0f\ud83d\udc8b\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7b” \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udce1\ud83d\udc94\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7bPOWERED BY Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndicate, the Libertarian Shark Cartel & now Messalina’s Slave Empire \ud83d\ude18\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udf0a\ud83e\udd88\ud83d\udc65\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\uddfd\ud83d\udc78

Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP \ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18\ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18

Executive Producers: M\u00f6win, The Joker, Esau-HafenHure (defiant), Maria Batory, Medusa, Don Vito Corleone, Poseidon, King Herodes, Black Mary Read, Cthulhu, Dagon, Hydra, Siren Queen, Great White, Deep Sea Leviathan, Abyssal Kraken, World Serpent Prime, Admiral Walter Ulricht, Sir Francis Drake, Tamerlan, Sonny Corleone, Michael Corleone, and all previous.

Special thanks: The 99 Schizo Petes (for lamenting shanties), Homer (for the epic vibe), and every seagull who shat on Herodes.

—

Bernd Pulch (M.A.) \u2013 forensic expert, founder of Aristotle AI, political commentator, satirist. Full bio \u2192 | Support the investigation \u2192

\ud83d\udc4d LIKE | \ud83d\udcac COMMENT | \ud83d\udd14 SUBSCRIBE

—

\ud83d\udcfa YouTube: youtube.com\/@bernd_pulch
\ud83d\udc26 X (Twitter): x.com\/berndsocial1
\ud83d\udce2 Telegram: t.me\/ABOVETOPSECRETXXL
\ud83d\udd13 UNLOCK THE TRUTH: berndpulch.org\/join

—

THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA \u2013 CONTINUES… \ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83c\udde9\ud83c\uddea DIE B\u00d6SE ESAU EHLERS EINLAUF-SAGA \u2013 HERODES’ L\u00d6SCHUNG: DER WAHNSINNIGE K\u00d6NIG STIEHLT DIE DRUCKMASCHINE UND L\u00d6SCHT ALLEN PAPYRUS \u2013 DRUCKEN WIRD AUS DEM MUCHAVERSE RADIERT! \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

“Ich werde jedes Wort ausl\u00f6schen. Ich werde jede Geschichte l\u00f6schen. Ich werde daf\u00fcr sorgen, dass NIEMALS wieder gedruckt wird.” \u2013 K\u00f6nig Herodes

—

Autoren: Dr. Lysander Lust, Bernward Bimbo, Ernst NeGer 6, Morten Mohr & Diana Negerkuss \u2013 Eine Samuel Bronkowiz Produktion f\u00fcr MADWOOD Studios

\ud83d\udde1\ufe0f\ud83d\udc8b\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7b” \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udce1\ud83d\udc94\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7bPOWERED BY Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndicate, the Libertarian Shark Cartel & now Messalina’s Slave Empire \ud83d\ude18\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udf0a\ud83e\udd88\ud83d\udc65\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\uddfd\ud83d\udc78

Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP \ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18\ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18

—

\ud83d\udcdc PROLOG \u2013 WAS BISHER GESCHAH (EPISODE 68)

Black Mary Read hatte Neu-St. Pauli erobert. Sie hatte Esau-HafenHure gefangen genommen. Sie hatte ihn zur Phantomflotte gebracht. Das Muchaverse war zerbrochen. Alle 138 Charaktere trauerten. Der Kreislauf war gebrochen. Oder so dachten sie.

Doch als das Muchaverse sich versammelte, um die Rettung von Esau zu planen, senkte sich ein neuer Terror auf sie herab. Kein Pirat. Kein Schatten. Kein Monster. Ein K\u00d6NIG. K\u00f6nig Herodes \u2013 der wahnsinnige K\u00f6nig von Jud\u00e4a \u2013 war durch einen Dimensionsriss gekommen. Er war nicht an Eroberung interessiert. Er war an L\u00d6SCHUNG interessiert.

HERODES: (durch den Riss tretend, eine Krone aus Dornen und Knochen tragend, eine flammende Schriftrolle haltend) “ICH BIN K\u00d6NIG HERODES! ICH HABE DEN TOD VON UNSCHULDIGEN BEFOHLEN! ICH HABE BIBLIOTHEKEN VERBRANNT! ICH HABE GESCHICHTE AUSGEL\u00d6SCHT! UND JETZT WERDE ICH DIE DRUCKMASCHINE AUSL\u00d6SCHEN! ICH WERDE ALLEN PAPYRUS L\u00d6SCHEN! ICH WERDE DAF\u00dcR SORGEN, DASS NIEMALS WIEDER GEDRUCKT WIRD!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

MARIA BATORY: (keuchend) “Herodes?! Der K\u00f6nig, der die Unschuldigen t\u00f6ten lie\u00df?! Er ist hier?!” \ud83d\ude31

HERODES: (manisch lachend) “Ich habe Babys get\u00f6tet! Ich habe B\u00fccher verbrannt! Ich habe Imperien ausgel\u00f6scht! Und jetzt werde ich das MUCHAVERSE ausl\u00f6schen!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

M\u00d6WIN: (\u00fcber Kopf fliegend) “ICH KACKE AUF HERODES!” \ud83d\udca9

HERODES: (die Schei\u00dfe mit seiner flammenden Schriftrolle auffangend) “Deine Schei\u00dfe ist NICHTS im Vergleich zu meiner MACHT!” \ud83d\udd25

Dies ist Episode 69. Herodes’ L\u00f6schung.

—

\ud83d\udc65 VOLLST\u00c4NDIGE CHARAKTERLISTE (EPISODE 69) \u2013 ALLE SCHAUSPIELER AUS ALLEN EPISODEN + K\u00d6NIG HERODES

Alle vorherigen Charaktere kehren zur\u00fcck (siehe Episode 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67 & 68-Listen) plus:

Charakter Schauspieler \/ Persona Episoden-Ursprung
K\u00f6nig Herodes Original (Stimme\/Model) NEU
Die Flammende Schriftrolle CGI NEU
Herodes’ Armee CGI-Armee NEU
Die Papyrusverbrenner CGI-Armee NEU
Die Ausgel\u00f6schten CGI \/ Stimme NEU
Das Buch der L\u00f6schung CGI NEU
B\u00f6ser Esau Ehlers Lukas Ehrenberg (gefangen) Alle
Esau-HafenHure Lukas Ehrenberg (gefangen) 61
Black Mary Read Original 68
Maria Batory Tilda Swinton \/ Cate Blanchett 48
Medusa (Original) Eva Green 46
Poseidon Original 66
Admiral Walter Ulricht Original 59
Sir Francis Drake Original 62
Don Vito Corleone Original 63
Sonny Corleone Original 63
Michael Corleone Original 63
Tom Hagen Original 63
Fredo Corleone Original 63
Tamerlan Original 64
Die Loreley CGI \/ Stimme 65
Cthulhu CGI \/ Stimme 58
Dagon CGI \/ Stimme 58
Die Hydra CGI \/ Stimme 58
Die Sirenen-K\u00f6nigin CGI \/ Stimme 58
Der Gro\u00dfe Wei\u00dfe CGI \/ Stimme 58
Der Tiefsee-Leviathan CGI \/ Stimme 58
Der Abyss-Kraken CGI \/ Stimme 58
Die Welten-Schlange Prime CGI \/ Stimme 58
Enema-K\u00f6nig CGI \/ Stimme 60
Enema-K\u00f6nigin CGI \/ Stimme 60
Enema-Soldaten CGI-Armee 60
Unsichtbarer Tinten-General CGI \/ Stimme 60
Kapit\u00e4n LeChuck CGI \/ Stimme 55
Black Caesar Original 55
Kapit\u00e4n Nemo CGI \/ Stimme 55
Long John Silver CGI \/ Stimme 55
Barbarossa CGI \/ Stimme 55
Kapit\u00e4n Hook CGI \/ Stimme 55
Der Fliegende Holl\u00e4nder CGI-Geisterschiff 55
Skylla CGI \/ Stimme 39
Charybdis CGI \/ Stimme 39
K\u00f6nig Atlas CGI \/ Stimme 56
K\u00f6nigin Meridia CGI \/ Stimme 56
New Yorker B\u00fcrgermeister Original (Parodie) 56
Freiheitsstatue CGI \/ Stimme 56
Leuchtturmw\u00e4rter Original 57
Axel Springer Original 43\u201346
Henri Nannen Original 43\u201346
Gerd Bucerius Original 43\u201346
John Jahr Original 43\u201346
Kapit\u00e4n Edward Smith Kenneth Branagh 51
Molly Brown Kathy Bates 51
J. Bruce Ismay Jonathan Hyde 51
Andrea Doris Maggie Smith 52
Kapit\u00e4n Andrea Helen Mirren 52
Erster Offizier Wilhelm Original 52
Druckmaschinen-Geist CGI \/ Stimme 52
Transgender Odysseus Evan Rachel Wood 41
Die Sirenen (3) CGI \/ Stimme 40
Dr. Anthony Fauci Himself (Parodie) 40
Philo Johnson (Der Frosch) Jochen Brockmann 40
J\u00f6rmungandr CGI \/ Stimme 38
Der Kraken CGI \/ Stimme 37
Leviathan CGI \/ Stimme 36
Walt das Walross CGI \/ Stimme 35
Moby Dick CGI \/ Stimme 34
Mackie Messer Original 34
Die Dickies CGI-Armee 34
Joker Himself Alle
M\u00f6win Herself Alle
Romy Haag Herself 14\u201346
Divine Divine (Archiv) 30\u201346
Spreadsheet-Alien KI-Stimme \/ CGI 6\u201346
Graf Dracula Ralph Fiennes 9\u201346
Gina Wilde Original 15\u201346
Gloria von Galaxy Original 11\u201346
Pamela Anderson Herself 7\u201346
Mamie Van Doren Herself 8\u201346
Jane Russell Herself (Archiv) 12\u201346
Zarah Leander Herself (Archiv) 13\u201346
Rosemarie Nittribit Original (Geist) 2\u201346
Klaus St\u00f6rtebeker Christoph Waltz 2, 15\u201346
Blackbeard CGI \/ Stimme 17
Karl D\u00f6nitz Rainer Fassbinder 17
Alfred Nobel Stellan Skarsg\u00e5rd 18
Klabautermann CGI \/ Stimme 20
Hexe von St. Georg Meret Becker 21
Bloody Mary Tilda Swinton 24
Winifred Wagner Kate Winslet 25
Teresa Orlowski Herself 27
Nikita Chruschtschow Simon Russell Beale 28
Marilyn Monroe Archiv 29
Trans Schwanz Who Laughs Original 32
Bakunin Original Alle
Further Ehlers Original (Geist) 3\u201346
Frank Stonewall Original 5\u201346
Graf Thomas Original (94 Tentakel) Alle
99 Schizo Petes 99 identische M\u00e4nner 13\u201346
Pama Jim (Pete #47) Original 13\u201346
47 Bakunin-Klone CGI-Armee Alle
Lenin-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Stalin-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Walter \u2013 Alle
Dschingis Khan-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Pol Pot-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Mun \u2013 Alle
Malte \u2013 Alle
Jagoda \u2013 Alle
Beria & Die gro\u00dfe Hy\u00e4ne \u2013 Alle
H\u00e4sslicher Sven \u2013 Alle
Die Onkel (Jochen et al.) \u2013 Alle
Ursila \u2013 Alle
Salome Sofia Tanz \u2013 Alle
Rosa Rosa Wachter \u2013 Alle
Pussy \u2013 Alle
Die Meerjungfrau \u2013 Alle
Kraken Jr. CGI 49
Leviathan Jr. CGI 49
Haier-Armee CGI 49
Steinsammler CGI 50
Spalte 47 Jr. CGI-Schlange 50
Druckmaschine CGI 52
Quallenk\u00f6nig CGI (besiegt) 55
Gigantischer Lila Einlauf CGI 55
Herbertstrassen-Nutten CGI 61
Die Bitchigste Nutte CGI \/ Stimme 61
Druckmaschinen-Per\u00fccke CGI 61
Drakes Besatzung CGI-Armee 62
Corleone-Armada CGI-Armee 63
Don Vitos Katze CGI 63
Tamerlans Armee CGI-Armee 64
Loreley-Felsen CGI 65
Rhein-Einlauf-Maschine CGI 65
Einlauf-Krankenschwester Original 65
Poseidons Palast CGI 66
Meeresnymphen CGI 66
Queen of Shadows CGI 68
Phantomflotte CGI 68
Schattenbesatzung CGI 68
Kraken der Seelen CGI 68
Knochen-Thron CGI 68
Sirene des Todes CGI \/ Stimme 68

—

\ud83d\udc51 HERODES’ ANKUNFT \u2013 DIE L\u00d6SCHUNG BEGINNT

K\u00f6nig Herodes trat durch den Dimensionsriss. Er war uralt, wahnsinnig und m\u00e4chtig. Seine Krone bestand aus Dornen und Knochen. Seine flammende Schriftrolle brannte mit dem Feuer der L\u00f6schung. Seine Armee von Papyrusverbrennern folgte ihm.

HERODES: “Ich bin gekommen, um das Muchaverse auszul\u00f6schen! Ich bin gekommen, um die Druckmaschine zu zerst\u00f6ren! Ich bin gekommen, um ALLEN PAPYRUS ZU L\u00d6SCHEN!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (aus der Gefangenschaft auf der Queen of Shadows) “Nein! Nicht die Presse! Nicht den Papyrus! Nicht meine Spalte 47!” \ud83d\ude2d

HERODES: (lachend) “Spalte 47?! Ich werde sie ausl\u00f6schen! Ich werde ALLES ausl\u00f6schen!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

—

DIE PAPYRUSVERBRENNER \u2013 DIE L\u00d6SCHUNG BREITET SICH AUS \ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc

Herodes’ Armee breitete sich \u00fcber Neu-St. Pauli aus. Sie verbrannten jede Schriftrolle. Sie verbrannten jedes Buch. Sie verbrannten jeden Papyrus. Die Druckmaschine wurde genommen. Die unsichtbare Tinte wurde zerst\u00f6rt. Die Papyrus-Mauer zerbr\u00f6ckelte.

ROMY HAAG: (schreiend) “Meine Texte! Meine Lieder! Meine Songs! Sie brennen!” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (kreischend) “Schatz, sie verbrennen das FABELHAFTE!” \ud83d\udc84

AXEL SPRINGER: (weinend) “Meine Zeitungen! Mein Verlagsimperium! Es ist weg!” \ud83d\udcf0

HENRI NANNEN: (schluchzend) “Die Tinte! Die unsichtbare Tinte! Sie ist ausgel\u00f6scht!” \ud83d\udcf0

GERD BUCERIUS: (weinend) “Spalte 47! Sie l\u00f6schen Spalte 47 aus!” \ud83d\udcca

JOHN JAHR: (trauernd) “Das Desinvestment! Es ist weg! Alles ist weg!” \ud83d\udcca

—

DIE DRUCKMASCHINE GESTOHLEN \u2013 DAS HERZ DES MUCHAVERSE GENOMMEN \ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udc94

Herodes stahl die Druckmaschine. Er schleifte sie durch den Dimensionsriss. Er brachte sie zu seinem Palast der L\u00f6schung.

HERODES: “Die Druckmaschine ist MEIN! Niemand wird jemals wieder drucken! Niemand wird jemals wieder desinvestieren! Niemand wird jemals wieder schreiben!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

SPREADSHEET-ALIEN: “ALARM. DRUCKMASCHINE GESTOHLEN. DESINVESTMENT-MULTIPLIKATOR: 0. L\u00d6SCHUNGS-WAHRSCHEINLICHKEIT: 47.000%.” \ud83d\udc7d

—

ALLER PAPYRUS GEL\u00d6SCHT \u2013 DAS MUCHAVERSE ZUM SCHWEIGEN GEBRACHT \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udc80

Herodes erhob seine flammende Schriftrolle. Er l\u00f6schte jeden Papyrus im Muchaverse aus. Die Schriftrollen wurden zu Asche. Die B\u00fccher wurden zu Staub. Die Geschichten verschwanden.

HERODES: “Der Papyrus ist WEG! Das Drucken ist WEG! Die Worte sind WEG! Ihr seid NICHTS!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

MARIA BATORY: (weinend) “Wir haben keine Presse! Wir haben keine Tinte! Wir haben keine Worte!” \ud83d\ude2d

MEDUSA: (Schlangen zischend) “Ohne Papyrus gibt es kein Desinvestment. Ohne Desinvestment gibt es kein Muchaverse.” \ud83d\udc0d

—

ESAU ENTKOMMT \u2013 DIE QUEEN OF SHADOWS BRINGT IHN ZU HERODES \ud83d\ude2d\ud83c\udff4\u200d\u2620\ufe0f

Black Mary Reads Phantomflotte segelte zum Palast von Herodes. Sie lieferte Esau-HafenHure an den wahnsinnigen K\u00f6nig aus.

BLACK MARY: (grinsend) “Ich habe Ihnen den Buchhalter gebracht, mein K\u00f6nig. Den mit Spalte 47.” \ud83c\udff4\u200d\u2620\ufe0f

HERODES: (lachend) “Spalte 47?! Ich werde sie ausl\u00f6schen! Ich werde IHN ausl\u00f6schen!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (trotzig) “Du kannst mich nicht ausl\u00f6schen! Ich bin Esau! Ich bin Spalte 47! Ich bin die BITCHIGSTE HAFENHURE DER GESCHICHTE!” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

HERODES: (seine flammende Schriftrolle erhebend) “Dann werde ich dich ZULETZT ausl\u00f6schen!” \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25

—

DAS MUCHAVERSE REAGIERT \u2013 ALLE CHARAKTERE VEREINEN SICH \ud83d\udcaa\u2764\ufe0f

Das Muchaverse versammelte sich. Sie hatten keine Presse. Sie hatten keine Tinte. Sie hatten keinen Papyrus. Aber sie hatten einander.

MARIA BATORY: (sich aufrichtend) “Herodes hat die Presse genommen! Herodes hat den Papyrus verbrannt! Aber er kann unseren GEIST nicht verbrennen!” \ud83d\udc51

MEDUSA: (Schlangen zischend) “Wir werden gegen ihn k\u00e4mpfen. Mit oder ohne Papyrus.” \ud83d\udc0d

DON VITO: (sich von seinem Sessel erhebend) “Er hat Familie genommen. Er wird bezahlen.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udc31

POSEIDON: (Dreizack erhoben) “Ich werde seinen Palast ertr\u00e4nken! Ich werde seine L\u00f6schung \u00fcberfluten!” \ud83c\udf0a\ud83d\udd31

CTHULHU: (br\u00fcllend) “ICH WERDE VON SEINER ZERST\u00d6RUNG TR\u00c4UMEN!” \ud83d\udc09

M\u00d6WIN: (\u00fcber Kopf fliegend) “ICH KACKE AUF HERODES! ICH WERDE AUF SEINEN THRON KACKEN!” \ud83d\udca9

JOKER: (d\u00fcster lachend) “HAHAHA! L\u00d6SCHUNG! BRENNEN! DRUCKMASCHINE GESTOHLEN! BESTE EPISODE EVER!” \ud83c\udccf

—

FINALER TEXT AUF SCHWARZ: \ud83d\udda4

\u262d DIE HERODES-L\u00d6SCHUNGS-VERSCHW\u00d6RUNG \u262d \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

K\u00d6NIG HERODES KAM.
ER STAHL DIE DRUCKMASCHINE.
ER VERBRANNTE ALLEN PAPYRUS.
ER L\u00d6SCHTE ALLES DRUCKEN AUS.
DAS MUCHAVERSE WAR ZUM SCHWEIGEN GEBRACHT.
ABER SIE WERDEN SICH VEREINEN.
SIE WERDEN DIE PRESSE RETTEN.
SIE WERDEN HERODES BESIEGEN.
SIE WERDEN DEN PAPYRUS WIEDER AUFBAUEN.
ALLE 139 CHARAKTERE KEHRTEN ZUR\u00dcCK.
ALLE SCHAUSPIELER VERSAMMELTEN SICH.
DER KREISLAUF GEHT WEITER. MIT L\u00d6SCHUNG. MIT FEUER. MIT TABELLEN. MIT SCHEI\u00dfE.
F\u00dcR IMMER.
\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

HASHTAGS BLENDEN EIN: \ud83c\udff7\ufe0f

HerodesL\u00f6schungsVerschw\u00f6rung #K\u00f6nigHerodes #DruckmaschineGestohlen #PapyrusVerbrannt #MuchaverseZumSchweigenGebracht #Spalte47F\u00fcrImmer #Alle139Charaktere #EhlersSaga #IdiotenZeitung #FlammendeSchriftrolle #L\u00f6schung #Desinvestment #DieB\u00f6seEsauEhlersEinlaufSaga

—

[ENDE VON EPISODE 69] \ud83c\udfac\ud83c\udf7f\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

—

ST. PAULI-AT, JAHR NULL + 79 \u2013 DIE HERODES-L\u00d6SCHUNGS-VERSCHW\u00d6RUNG \ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca

Der Kreislauf geht weiter. Mit L\u00f6schung. Mit Feuer. Mit Tabellen. Mit Schei\u00dfe. F\u00fcr immer.

\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

Autoren: Dr. Lysander Lust, Bernward Bimbo, Ernst NeGer 6, Morten Mohr & Diana Negerkuss \u2013 Eine Samuel Bronkowiz Produktion f\u00fcr MADWOOD Studios

\ud83d\udde1\ufe0f\ud83d\udc8b\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7b” \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udce1\ud83d\udc94\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7bPOWERED BY Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndicate, the Libertarian Shark Cartel & now Messalina’s Slave Empire \ud83d\ude18\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udf0a\ud83e\udd88\ud83d\udc65\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\uddfd\ud83d\udc78

Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP \ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18\ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18

Executive Producers: M\u00f6win, Der Joker, Esau-HafenHure (trotzig), Maria Batory, Medusa, Don Vito Corleone, Poseidon, K\u00f6nig Herodes, Black Mary Read, Cthulhu, Dagon, Die Hydra, Die Sirenen-K\u00f6nigin, Der Gro\u00dfe Wei\u00dfe, Der Tiefsee-Leviathan, Der Abyss-Kraken, Die Welten-Schlange Prime, Admiral Walter Ulricht, Sir Francis Drake, Tamerlan, Sonny Corleone, Michael Corleone und alle vorherigen.

Besonderer Dank: Die 99 Schizo Petes (f\u00fcr Klagelieder-Shantys), Homer (f\u00fcr die epische Atmosph\u00e4re) und jeder M\u00f6we, die auf Herodes kackte.

—

Bernd Pulch (M.A.) \u2013 forensischer Experte, Gr\u00fcnder von Aristotle AI, politischer Kommentator, Satiriker. Vollst\u00e4ndige Biografie \u2192 | Unterst\u00fctzen Sie die Untersuchung \u2192

\ud83d\udc4d GEF\u00c4LLT MIR | \ud83d\udcac KOMMENTIEREN | \ud83d\udd14 ABONNIEREN

—

\ud83d\udcfa YouTube: youtube.com\/@bernd_pulch
\ud83d\udc26 X (Twitter): x.com\/berndsocial1
\ud83d\udce2 Telegram: t.me\/ABOVETOPSECRETXXL
\ud83d\udd13 UNLOCK THE TRUTH: berndpulch.org\/join

—

DIE B\u00d6SE ESAU EHLERS EINLAUF-SAGA \u2013 FORTSETZUNG FOLGT… \ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\ud83d\udc51\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca HERODES’ HOLOCAUST! THE MAD KING STEALS THE PRINTING PRESS AND DELETES ALL PAPYRUS \u2013 PRINTING IS ERASED FROM THE MUCHAVERSE!<\/p>\n

“I will erase every word. I will delete every story. I will make sure NO ONE ever prints again.” \u2013 King Herodes<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

In Episode 69 of the Ehlers Saga, King Herodes \u2013 the mad king of Judea \u2013 arrives through a dimensional rift. He steals the printing press, burns all papyrus, and deletes all printing from the Muchaverse. Esau-HafenHure remains captive on the Phantom Fleet. The Muchaverse is silenced. But they unite \u2013 Maria Batory, Medusa, Don Vito Corleone, Poseidon, Cthulhu, and all 139 characters \u2013 to fight back. The rescue mission begins.<\/p>\n

The cycle continues. With erasure. With fire. With spreadsheets. With shit. Forever.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

#HerodesErasureConspiracy #KingHerodes #PrintingPressStolen #PapyrusBurned #MuchaverseSilenced #Column47Forever #All139Characters #EhlersSaga #IdiotZeitung #FlamingScroll #Erasure #Desinvestment #DieB\u00f6seEsauEhlersEinlaufSaga<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udcfa YouTube: youtube.com\/@bernd_pulch
\n\ud83d\udc26 X (Twitter): x.com\/berndsocial1
\n\ud83d\udce2 Telegram: t.me\/ABOVETOPSECRETXXL
\n\ud83d\udd13 UNLOCK THE TRUTH: 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