{"id":1005760,"date":"2026-08-26T06:25:29","date_gmt":"2026-08-26T10:25:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/berndpulch.org\/?p=1005760"},"modified":"2026-08-26T06:26:11","modified_gmt":"2026-08-26T10:26:11","slug":"the-evil-esau-ehlers-enema-saga-tamerlans-revenge-the-mongol-conqueror-takes-esau-and-the-printing-press-hostage-the-muchaverse-pillaged-%f0%9f%90%8e%f0%9f%8f%b9%e2%9a%94%ef%b8%8f","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/berndpulch.org\/de\/2026\/08\/26\/the-evil-esau-ehlers-enema-saga-tamerlans-revenge-the-mongol-conqueror-takes-esau-and-the-printing-press-hostage-the-muchaverse-pillaged-%f0%9f%90%8e%f0%9f%8f%b9%e2%9a%94%ef%b8%8f\/","title":{"rendered":"THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA: TAMERLAN’S REVENGE: THE MONGOL CONQUEROR TAKES ESAU AND THE PRINTING PRESS HOSTAGE \u2013 THE MUCHAVERSE PILLAGED! \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\ud83d\udca9 THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA \u2013 TAMERLAN’S REVENGE: THE MONGOL CONQUEROR TAKES ESAU AND THE PRINTING PRESS HOSTAGE \u2013 THE MUCHAVERSE PILLAGED! \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

“I have conquered empires. I have burned cities. I have crushed kings. Now I will conquer DESINVESTMENT.” \u2013 Tamerlan

—

Authors: Dr. Lysander Lust, Bernward Bimbo, Ernst NeGer 6, Morten Mohr & Diana Negerkuss \u2013 A Samuel Bronkowiz Production for MADWOOD Studios

\ud83d\udde1\ufe0f\ud83d\udc8b\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7b” \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udce1\ud83d\udc94\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7bPOWERED BY Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndicate, the Libertarian Shark Cartel & now Messalina’s Slave Empire \ud83d\ude18\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udf0a\ud83e\udd88\ud83d\udc65\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\uddfd\ud83d\udc78

Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP \ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18\ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18

—

\ud83d\udcdc PROLOGUE \u2013 WHAT PREVIOUSLY HAPPENED (EPISODE 63)

The Corleone family had conquered St. Pauli. Don Vito had made Esau an offer he couldn’t refuse. Esau had become a made man. Sir Francis Drake had been defeated. All 126 characters rejoiced. St. Pauli was free. The cycle was complete. Or so they thought.

But as the Muchaverse celebrated on the Reeperbahn, a massive dimensional rift opened above St. Pauli. It was not a rift of pirates. It was not a rift of gangsters. It was a rift of MONGOLS. And out of it poured the armies of TAMERLAN \u2013 the greatest conqueror since Genghis Khan.

TAMERLAN: (riding out of the rift on a massive warhorse, armor gleaming, scimitar raised) “I AM TAMERLAN! I HAVE CONQUERED PERSIA! I HAVE CONQUERED INDIA! I HAVE CONQUERED THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE! NOW I WILL CONQUER THE MUCHAVERSE!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (printing press wig askew) “Not again! Another conqueror?!” \ud83d\ude31

MARIA BATORY: (drawing her scepter) “We must fight! We must defend St. Pauli!” \ud83d\udc51

TAMERLAN: (laughing) “Fight?! You are ACCOUNTANTS! You are HAFENHURES! You are WEAK! I will take your printing press! I will take your Column 47! I will take your GIGANTIC PURPLE ENEMA!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

The Mongol army descended upon St. Pauli. They pillaged the Reeperbahn. They burned the Kiez. They captured Esau-HafenHure and the printing press. They dragged them through the dimensional rift into MONGOLIA.

This is Episode 64. Tamerlan’s Revenge.

—

\ud83d\udc65 COMPLETE CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 64) \u2013 ALL ACTORS FROM ALL EPISODES + TAMERLAN

All previous characters return (see Episode 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62 & 63 lists) plus:

Character Actor \/ Persona Episode Origin
Tamerlan Original (voice\/model) NEW
Tamerlan’s Army CGI Army NEW
Mongol Warhorses CGI NEW
The Silk Road CGI NEW
The Mongolian Steppe CGI NEW
The Yurt of Desinvestment CGI NEW
Evil Esau Ehlers Lukas Ehrenberg (hostage) All
Esau-HafenHure Lukas Ehrenberg (captured) 61
Maria Batory Tilda Swinton \/ Cate Blanchett 48
Medusa (Original) Eva Green 46
Admiral Walter Ulricht Original 59
Sir Francis Drake Original (rehabilitated) 62
Don Vito Corleone Original 63
Sonny Corleone Original 63
Michael Corleone Original 63
Tom Hagen Original 63
Fredo Corleone Original 63
HafenHure (Original) Original All
Alphonse Sharkler Original (rehabilitated) 53
Heini Sharkler Original 49
Adolf Sharkler Original 34
Eva Sharkbrown Original 34
Axel Springer Original 43\u201346
Henri Nannen Original 43\u201346
Gerd Bucerius Original 43\u201346
John Jahr Original 43\u201346
Cthulhu CGI \/ Voice 58
Dagon CGI \/ Voice 58
The Hydra CGI \/ Voice 58
The Siren Queen CGI \/ Voice 58
The Great White CGI \/ Voice 58
The Deep Sea Leviathan CGI \/ Voice 58
The Abyssal Kraken CGI \/ Voice 58
The World Serpent Prime CGI \/ Voice 58
Enema King CGI \/ Voice 60
Enema Queen CGI \/ Voice 60
Enema Soldiers CGI Army 60
Invisible Ink General CGI \/ Voice 60
Captain LeChuck CGI \/ Voice 55
Black Caesar Original 55
Captain Nemo CGI \/ Voice 55
Long John Silver CGI \/ Voice 55
Barbarossa CGI \/ Voice 55
Captain Hook CGI \/ Voice 55
The Flying Dutchman CGI Ghost Ship 55
Skylla CGI \/ Voice 39
Charybdis CGI \/ Voice 39
King Atlas CGI \/ Voice 56
Queen Meridia CGI \/ Voice 56
New York Mayor Original (parody) 56
Statue of Liberty CGI \/ Voice 56
Lighthouse Keeper Original 57
Captain Edward Smith Kenneth Branagh 51
Molly Brown Kathy Bates 51
J. Bruce Ismay Jonathan Hyde 51
Andrea Doris Maggie Smith 52
Captain Andrea Helen Mirren 52
First Mate Wilhelm Original 52
Printing Press Ghost CGI \/ Voice 52
Transgender Odysseus Evan Rachel Wood 41
The Sirens (3) CGI \/ Voice 40
Dr. Anthony Fauci Himself (parody) 40
Philo Johnson (The Frog) Jochen Brockmann 40
J\u00f6rmungandr CGI \/ Voice 38
The Kraken CGI \/ Voice 37
Leviathan CGI \/ Voice 36
Walt the Walrus CGI \/ Voice 35
Moby Dick CGI \/ Voice 34
Mack the Knife Original 34
The Dickies CGI army 34
Joker Himself All
M\u00f6win Herself All
Romy Haag Herself 14\u201346
Divine Divine (archival) 30\u201346
Spreadsheet Alien AI voice \/ CGI 6\u201346
Count Dracula Ralph Fiennes 9\u201346
Gina Wilde Original 15\u201346
Gloria von Galaxy Original 11\u201346
Pamela Anderson Herself 7\u201346
Mamie Van Doren Herself 8\u201346
Jane Russell Herself (archival) 12\u201346
Zarah Leander Herself (archive) 13\u201346
Rosemarie Nittribit Original (ghost) 2\u201346
Klaus St\u00f6rtebeker Christoph Waltz 2, 15\u201346
Blackbeard CGI \/ Voice 17
Karl D\u00f6nitz Rainer Fassbinder 17
Alfred Nobel Stellan Skarsg\u00e5rd 18
Klabautermann CGI \/ Voice 20
Witch of St. Georg Meret Becker 21
Bloody Mary Tilda Swinton 24
Winifred Wagner Kate Winslet 25
Teresa Orlowski Herself 27
Nikita Khrushchev Simon Russell Beale 28
Marilyn Monroe Archival 29
Trans Schwanz Who Laughs Original 32
Bakunin Original All
Further Ehlers Original (ghost) 3\u201346
Frank Stonewall Original 5\u201346
Graf Thomas Original (94 tentacles) All
99 Schizo Petes 99 identical men 13\u201346
Pama Jim (Pete #47) Original 13\u201346
47 Bakunin Clones CGI army All
Lenin Parody \u2013 All
Stalin Parody \u2013 All
Walter \u2013 All
Genghis Khan Parody \u2013 All
Pol Pot Parody \u2013 All
Mun \u2013 All
Malte \u2013 All
Jagoda \u2013 All
Beria & The Big Hyena \u2013 All
Ugly Sven \u2013 All
The Uncles (Jochen et al.) \u2013 All
Ursila \u2013 All
Salome Sofia Tanz \u2013 All
Rosa Rosa Wachter \u2013 All
Pussy \u2013 All
The Mermaid \u2013 All
Kraken Jr. CGI 49
Leviathan Jr. CGI 49
Shark Army CGI 49
Stone Collectors CGI 50
Column 47 Jr. CGI Snake 50
Printing Press CGI 52
Jellyfish King CGI (defeated) 55
Gigantic Purple Enema CGI 55
Herbertstrasse Wenches CGI 61
The Bitchiest Wench CGI \/ Voice 61
Printing Press Wig CGI 61
Drake’s Crew CGI Army 62
Corleone Armada CGI Army 63
Don Vito’s Cat CGI 63

—

\ud83d\udc0e THE MONGOL INVASION \u2013 ST. PAULI PILLAGED

Tamerlan’s army poured through the dimensional rift. Thousands of Mongol warriors on horseback, armed with scimitars and bows, swarmed St. Pauli. They burned the Reeperbahn. They looted the Kiez. They destroyed the fish markets. They captured Esau-HafenHure and the printing press.

TAMERLAN: (riding through the streets, triumphant) “ST. PAULI IS MINE! I have pillaged this ridiculous city! I have taken the printing press! I have taken the accountant! I have taken the GIGANTIC PURPLE ENEMA!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (tied to a horse, fishnets torn, printing press wig askew) “Let me go! I am a made man! I am a Corleone!” \ud83d\ude2d

TAMERLAN: (laughing) “Corleone?! I have crushed empires! I have burned cities! I have killed kings! Your mafia is NOTHING to me!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

MARIA BATORY: (chasing the horse) “ESAU! I will save you! I will find you!” \u2764\ufe0f

MEDUSA: (snakes hissing) “We must follow them! We must rescue Esau!” \ud83d\udc0d

DON VITO: (rising from his chair) “He is family. We will save him. We will hunt Tamerlan.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udc31

SONNY CORLEONE: (furious) “NOBODY TAKES A CORLEONE!” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udcaa

MICHAEL CORLEONE: (coldly) “We will go to Mongolia. We will find him. We will bring him home.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f

—

THE PILLAGING \u2013 THE MUCHAVERSE RANSACKED \ud83d\udc94\ud83d\udd25

Tamerlan’s army pillaged the Muchaverse. They took the Gigantic Purple Enema. They took the invisible ink. They took the spreadsheets. They took everything.

TAMERLAN: (holding the Gigantic Purple Enema) “This enema… it is powerful. It will help me conquer the multiverse! I will rule EVERYTHING!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

SPREADSHEET ALIEN: “ALERT. GIGANTIC PURPLE ENEMA STOLEN. DESINVESTMENT MULTIPLIER DECLINING. THREAT LEVEL: 47,000%.” \ud83d\udc7d

JOKER: (nervously laughing) “HAHAHA! MONGOLS! PILLAGING! THIS IS WILD!” \ud83c\udccf

M\u00d6WIN: (flying overhead, shitting golden sparkles) “I SHIT ON THE MONGOLS! BUT THEY DON’T CARE!” \ud83d\udca9

—

THE CAPTIVITY \u2013 ESAU IN MONGOLIA \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udfdc\ufe0f

Esau-HafenHure was dragged through the rift into Mongolia. He was thrown into a yurt \u2013 the Yurt of Desinvestment. The printing press was beside him. Tamerlan sat on a throne of bones and spreadsheets.

TAMERLAN: (leaning forward) “You are Esau Ehlers. You are the accountant of the Muchaverse. You have Column 47. You have the printing press. You will work for me.” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (defiant, despite being tied up) “I will never work for you! I am a made man! I am a Corleone! I am a HafenHure! I am COLUMN 47!” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

TAMERLAN: (laughing) “You are a HOSTAGE. You will print my propaganda. You will desinvest my enemies. You will create my empire.” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (spitting) “Never!” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b

TAMERLAN: (raising his scimitar) “Then you will watch your Muchaverse burn. Starting with your friends.” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

—

THE CREW PILLAGED \u2013 THE MUCHAVERSE SUFFERS \ud83d\ude22\ud83d\udd25

Meanwhile, the Muchaverse was being pillaged. Tamerlan’s army had captured many characters.

ROMY HAAG: (tied up) “This is RIDICULOUS! I am a QUEEN!” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (tied up) “Honey, these Mongols have NO taste!” \ud83d\udc84

SKYLLA: (six heads tied) “I have six heads! They tied ALL of them!” \ud83e\udd80

CHARYBDIS: (whirling, unable to swallow) “They covered my whirlpool! I cannot swallow!” \ud83c\udf0a

BAKUNIN: (tied up) “ANARCHY! But also… CAPTIVITY!” \ud83e\udde8

GRAF THOMAS: (94 tentacles tied) “I have 94 tentacles! They tied 94 of them!” \ud83e\udd91

CTHULHU: (chained) “I AM THE GREAT DREAMER! I DREAM OF THEIR DESTRUCTION!” \ud83d\udc09

DON VITO: (calmly, still holding his cat) “They have taken Esau. They have taken the press. But they have not taken our FAMILY.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udc31

MICHAEL: (coldly) “We will get him back.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f

—

THE RESCUE PLAN \u2013 THE MUCHAVERSE UNITE \ud83d\udcaa\u2764\ufe0f

The Muchaverse united. Despite being pillaged, they planned their rescue.

MARIA BATORY: (leading the charge) “We will go to Mongolia! We will save Esau! We will defeat Tamerlan!” \ud83d\udc51

MEDUSA: (snakes hissing) “I will turn them to stone.” \ud83d\udc0d

DON VITO: (nodding) “We will offer them an offer they cannot refuse.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udc31

SONNY: (punching his fist) “I will break their faces!” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udcaa

MICHAEL: (coldly) “I will make it… business.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f

CTHULHU: (roaring) “I WILL DREAM OF THEIR DESTRUCTION!” \ud83d\udc09

DAGON: (hissing) “I WILL SLAY THEM!” \ud83d\udc1f

HYDRA: (hissing) “I WILL EAT THEM!” \ud83d\udc0d

SKYLLA: (six heads) “I WILL BITE THEM!” \ud83e\udd80

CHARYBDIS: (whirling) “I WILL SWALLOW THEM!” \ud83c\udf0a

M\u00d6WIN: (flying overhead) “I WILL SHIT ON THEM!” \ud83d\udca9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (from the yurt, hearing them) “They are coming. My family. My Muchaverse. They are coming.” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

—

ALL CHARACTERS REJOICE \u2013 THE FINAL CHORUS \ud83c\udfad\ud83c\udfaa

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (from captivity, defiant) “I am Esau! I am Column 47! I am a Corleone! I am a HafenHure! I am the MUCHAVERSE! And I will NOT break!” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

TAMERLAN: (furious) “You will break! You will serve me! Or you will die!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (smiling) “They are coming for me. My family. My friends. My lovers. They are coming.” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

TAMERLAN: (looking at the horizon) “Then I will be ready. I have the enema. I have the press. I have the power.” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

—

FINAL TEXT ON BLACK: \ud83d\udda4

\u262d THE MONGOL PILLAGING CONSPIRACY \u262d \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

TAMERLAN ARRIVED.
HE PILLAGED ST. PAULI.
HE CAPTURED ESAU AND THE PRINTING PRESS.
HE TOOK THEM TO MONGOLIA.
THE MUCHAVERSE WAS RANSACKED.
BUT THE MUCHAVERSE WILL UNITE.
THEY WILL RESCUE ESAU.
THEY WILL DEFEAT TAMERLAN.
ALL 127 CHARACTERS RETURNED.
ALL ACTORS ASSEMBLED.
THE CYCLE CONTINUES. WITH MONGOLS. WITH PILLAGING. WITH SPREADSHEETS. WITH SHIT.
FOREVER.
\ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

HASHTAGS FADE IN: \ud83c\udff7\ufe0f

MongolPillagingConspiracy #Tamerlan #MongolInvasion #StPauliPillaged #EsauHostage #PrintingPressCaptured #MuchaverseRansacked #Column47Forever #All127Characters #EhlersSaga #IdiotZeitung #Mongolia #SilkRoad #Conqueror #Desinvestment #DieB\u00f6seEsauEhlersEinlaufSaga

—

[END OF EPISODE 64] \ud83c\udfac\ud83c\udf7f\ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

—

ST. PAULI-AT, JAHR NULL + 79 \u2013 THE MONGOL PILLAGING CONSPIRACY \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca

The cycle continues. With Mongols. With pillaging. With spreadsheets. With shit. Forever.

\ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

Authors: Dr. Lysander Lust, Bernward Bimbo, Ernst NeGer 6, Morten Mohr & Diana Negerkuss \u2013 A Samuel Bronkowiz Production for MADWOOD Studios

\ud83d\udde1\ufe0f\ud83d\udc8b\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7b” \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udce1\ud83d\udc94\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7bPOWERED BY Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndicate, the Libertarian Shark Cartel & now Messalina’s Slave Empire \ud83d\ude18\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udf0a\ud83e\udd88\ud83d\udc65\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\uddfd\ud83d\udc78

Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP \ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18\ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18

Executive Producers: M\u00f6win, The Joker, Esau-HafenHure (captured), Maria Batory, Medusa, Don Vito Corleone, Tamerlan, Cthulhu, Dagon, Hydra, Siren Queen, Great White, Deep Sea Leviathan, Abyssal Kraken, World Serpent Prime, Admiral Walter Ulricht, Sir Francis Drake, Sonny Corleone, Michael Corleone, and all previous.

Special thanks: The 99 Schizo Petes (for lamenting shanties), Homer (for the epic vibe), and every seagull who shat on the Mongols.

—

Bernd Pulch (M.A.) \u2013 forensic expert, founder of Aristotle AI, political commentator, satirist. Full bio \u2192 | Support the investigation \u2192

\ud83d\udc4d LIKE | \ud83d\udcac COMMENT | \ud83d\udd14 SUBSCRIBE

—

\ud83d\udcfa YouTube: youtube.com\/@bernd_pulch
\ud83d\udc26 X (Twitter): x.com\/berndsocial1
\ud83d\udce2 Telegram: t.me\/ABOVETOPSECRETXXL
\ud83d\udd13 UNLOCK THE TRUTH: berndpulch.org\/join

—

THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA \u2013 CONTINUES… \ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83c\udde9\ud83c\uddea DIE B\u00d6SE ESAU EHLERS EINLAUF-SAGA \u2013 TAMERLANS RACHE: DER MONGOLISCHE EROBERER NIMMT ESAU UND DIE DRUCKMASCHINE ALS GEISEL \u2013 DAS MUCHAVERSE WIRD GEHENKT! \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

“Ich habe Imperien erobert. Ich habe St\u00e4dte niedergebrannt. Ich habe K\u00f6nige zermalmt. Jetzt werde ich DESINVESTMENT erobern.” \u2013 Tamerlan

—

Autoren: Dr. Lysander Lust, Bernward Bimbo, Ernst NeGer 6, Morten Mohr & Diana Negerkuss \u2013 Eine Samuel Bronkowiz Produktion f\u00fcr MADWOOD Studios

\ud83d\udde1\ufe0f\ud83d\udc8b\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7b” \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udce1\ud83d\udc94\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7bPOWERED BY Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndicate, the Libertarian Shark Cartel & now Messalina’s Slave Empire \ud83d\ude18\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udf0a\ud83e\udd88\ud83d\udc65\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\uddfd\ud83d\udc78

Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP \ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18\ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18

—

\ud83d\udcdc PROLOG \u2013 WAS BISHER GESCHAH (EPISODE 63)

Die Corleone-Familie hatte St. Pauli erobert. Don Vito hatte Esau ein Angebot gemacht, das er nicht ablehnen konnte. Esau war ein gemachter Mann geworden. Sir Francis Drake war besiegt worden. Alle 126 Charaktere jubelten. St. Pauli war frei. Der Kreislauf war vollendet. Oder so dachten sie.

Doch als das Muchaverse auf der Reeperbahn feierte, \u00f6ffnete sich \u00fcber St. Pauli ein gewaltiger Dimensionsriss. Es war kein Riss von Piraten. Es war kein Riss von Gangstern. Es war ein Riss der MONGOLEN. Und daraus str\u00f6mten die Armeen von TAMERLAN \u2013 dem gr\u00f6\u00dften Eroberer seit Dschingis Khan.

TAMERLAN: (aus dem Riss reitend auf einem gewaltigen Schlachtross, R\u00fcstung gl\u00e4nzend, Krummschwert erhoben) “ICH BIN TAMERLAN! ICH HABE PERSIEN EROBERT! ICH HABE INDIEN EROBERT! ICH HABE DAS OSMANISCHE REICH EROBERT! JETZT WERDE ICH DAS MUCHAVERSE EROBERN!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (Druckmaschinen-Per\u00fccke schief) “Nicht schon wieder! Ein weiterer Eroberer?!” \ud83d\ude31

MARIA BATORY: (ihr Zepter ziehend) “Wir m\u00fcssen k\u00e4mpfen! Wir m\u00fcssen St. Pauli verteidigen!” \ud83d\udc51

TAMERLAN: (lachend) “K\u00e4mpfen?! Ihr seid BUCHHALTER! Ihr seid HAFENHUREN! Ihr seid SCHWACH! Ich werde eure Druckmaschine nehmen! Ich werde eure Spalte 47 nehmen! Ich werde euren GIGANTISCHEN LILA EINLAUF nehmen!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

Die mongolische Armee st\u00fcrzte sich auf St. Pauli. Sie pl\u00fcnderten die Reeperbahn. Sie brannten den Kiez nieder. Sie fingen Esau-HafenHure und die Druckmaschine. Sie schleiften sie durch den Dimensionsriss in die MONGOLIE.

Dies ist Episode 64. Tamerlans Rache.

—

\ud83d\udc65 VOLLST\u00c4NDIGE CHARAKTERLISTE (EPISODE 64) \u2013 ALLE SCHAUSPIELER AUS ALLEN EPISODEN + TAMERLAN

Alle vorherigen Charaktere kehren zur\u00fcck (siehe Episode 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62 & 63-Listen) plus:

Charakter Schauspieler \/ Persona Episoden-Ursprung
Tamerlan Original (Stimme\/Model) NEU
Tamerlans Armee CGI-Armee NEU
Mongolische Schlachtrosse CGI NEU
Die Seidenstra\u00dfe CGI NEU
Die Mongolische Steppe CGI NEU
Die Jurte des Desinvestment CGI NEU
B\u00f6ser Esau Ehlers Lukas Ehrenberg (Geisel) Alle
Esau-HafenHure Lukas Ehrenberg (gefangen) 61
Maria Batory Tilda Swinton \/ Cate Blanchett 48
Medusa (Original) Eva Green 46
Admiral Walter Ulricht Original 59
Sir Francis Drake Original (rehabilitiert) 62
Don Vito Corleone Original 63
Sonny Corleone Original 63
Michael Corleone Original 63
Tom Hagen Original 63
Fredo Corleone Original 63
HafenHure (Original) Original Alle
Alphonse Sharkler Original (rehabilitiert) 53
Heini Sharkler Original 49
Adolf Sharkler Original 34
Eva Sharkbrown Original 34
Axel Springer Original 43\u201346
Henri Nannen Original 43\u201346
Gerd Bucerius Original 43\u201346
John Jahr Original 43\u201346
Cthulhu CGI \/ Stimme 58
Dagon CGI \/ Stimme 58
Die Hydra CGI \/ Stimme 58
Die Sirenen-K\u00f6nigin CGI \/ Stimme 58
Der Gro\u00dfe Wei\u00dfe CGI \/ Stimme 58
Der Tiefsee-Leviathan CGI \/ Stimme 58
Der Abyss-Kraken CGI \/ Stimme 58
Die Welten-Schlange Prime CGI \/ Stimme 58
Enema-K\u00f6nig CGI \/ Stimme 60
Enema-K\u00f6nigin CGI \/ Stimme 60
Enema-Soldaten CGI-Armee 60
Unsichtbarer Tinten-General CGI \/ Stimme 60
Kapit\u00e4n LeChuck CGI \/ Stimme 55
Black Caesar Original 55
Kapit\u00e4n Nemo CGI \/ Stimme 55
Long John Silver CGI \/ Stimme 55
Barbarossa CGI \/ Stimme 55
Kapit\u00e4n Hook CGI \/ Stimme 55
Der Fliegende Holl\u00e4nder CGI-Geisterschiff 55
Skylla CGI \/ Stimme 39
Charybdis CGI \/ Stimme 39
K\u00f6nig Atlas CGI \/ Stimme 56
K\u00f6nigin Meridia CGI \/ Stimme 56
New Yorker B\u00fcrgermeister Original (Parodie) 56
Freiheitsstatue CGI \/ Stimme 56
Leuchtturmw\u00e4rter Original 57
Kapit\u00e4n Edward Smith Kenneth Branagh 51
Molly Brown Kathy Bates 51
J. Bruce Ismay Jonathan Hyde 51
Andrea Doris Maggie Smith 52
Kapit\u00e4n Andrea Helen Mirren 52
Erster Offizier Wilhelm Original 52
Druckmaschinen-Geist CGI \/ Stimme 52
Transgender Odysseus Evan Rachel Wood 41
Die Sirenen (3) CGI \/ Stimme 40
Dr. Anthony Fauci Himself (Parodie) 40
Philo Johnson (Der Frosch) Jochen Brockmann 40
J\u00f6rmungandr CGI \/ Stimme 38
Der Kraken CGI \/ Stimme 37
Leviathan CGI \/ Stimme 36
Walt das Walross CGI \/ Stimme 35
Moby Dick CGI \/ Stimme 34
Mackie Messer Original 34
Die Dickies CGI-Armee 34
Joker Himself Alle
M\u00f6win Herself Alle
Romy Haag Herself 14\u201346
Divine Divine (Archiv) 30\u201346
Spreadsheet-Alien KI-Stimme \/ CGI 6\u201346
Graf Dracula Ralph Fiennes 9\u201346
Gina Wilde Original 15\u201346
Gloria von Galaxy Original 11\u201346
Pamela Anderson Herself 7\u201346
Mamie Van Doren Herself 8\u201346
Jane Russell Herself (Archiv) 12\u201346
Zarah Leander Herself (Archiv) 13\u201346
Rosemarie Nittribit Original (Geist) 2\u201346
Klaus St\u00f6rtebeker Christoph Waltz 2, 15\u201346
Blackbeard CGI \/ Stimme 17
Karl D\u00f6nitz Rainer Fassbinder 17
Alfred Nobel Stellan Skarsg\u00e5rd 18
Klabautermann CGI \/ Stimme 20
Hexe von St. Georg Meret Becker 21
Bloody Mary Tilda Swinton 24
Winifred Wagner Kate Winslet 25
Teresa Orlowski Herself 27
Nikita Chruschtschow Simon Russell Beale 28
Marilyn Monroe Archiv 29
Trans Schwanz Who Laughs Original 32
Bakunin Original Alle
Further Ehlers Original (Geist) 3\u201346
Frank Stonewall Original 5\u201346
Graf Thomas Original (94 Tentakel) Alle
99 Schizo Petes 99 identische M\u00e4nner 13\u201346
Pama Jim (Pete #47) Original 13\u201346
47 Bakunin-Klone CGI-Armee Alle
Lenin-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Stalin-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Walter \u2013 Alle
Dschingis Khan-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Pol Pot-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Mun \u2013 Alle
Malte \u2013 Alle
Jagoda \u2013 Alle
Beria & Die gro\u00dfe Hy\u00e4ne \u2013 Alle
H\u00e4sslicher Sven \u2013 Alle
Die Onkel (Jochen et al.) \u2013 Alle
Ursila \u2013 Alle
Salome Sofia Tanz \u2013 Alle
Rosa Rosa Wachter \u2013 Alle
Pussy \u2013 Alle
Die Meerjungfrau \u2013 Alle
Kraken Jr. CGI 49
Leviathan Jr. CGI 49
Haier-Armee CGI 49
Steinsammler CGI 50
Spalte 47 Jr. CGI-Schlange 50
Druckmaschine CGI 52
Quallenk\u00f6nig CGI (besiegt) 55
Gigantischer Lila Einlauf CGI 55
Herbertstrassen-Nutten CGI 61
Die Bitchigste Nutte CGI \/ Stimme 61
Druckmaschinen-Per\u00fccke CGI 61
Drakes Besatzung CGI-Armee 62
Corleone-Armada CGI-Armee 63
Don Vitos Katze CGI 63

—

\ud83d\udc0e DIE MONGOLISCHE INVASION \u2013 ST. PAULI GEHENKT

Tamerlans Armee str\u00f6mte durch den Dimensionsriss. Tausende mongolische Krieger zu Pferd, bewaffnet mit Krummschwertern und B\u00f6gen, schw\u00e4rmten \u00fcber St. Pauli. Sie brannten die Reeperbahn nieder. Sie pl\u00fcnderten den Kiez. Sie zerst\u00f6rten die Fischm\u00e4rkte. Sie fingen Esau-HafenHure und die Druckmaschine.

TAMERLAN: (durch die Stra\u00dfen reitend, triumphierend) “ST. PAULI IST MEIN! Ich habe diese l\u00e4cherliche Stadt gepl\u00fcndert! Ich habe die Druckmaschine genommen! Ich habe den Buchhalter genommen! Ich habe den GIGANTISCHEN LILA EINLAUF genommen!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (an ein Pferd gebunden, Netzstr\u00fcmpfe zerrissen, Druckmaschinen-Per\u00fccke schief) “Lass mich los! Ich bin ein gemachter Mann! Ich bin ein Corleone!” \ud83d\ude2d

TAMERLAN: (lachend) “Corleone?! Ich habe Imperien zermalmt! Ich habe St\u00e4dte niedergebrannt! Ich habe K\u00f6nige get\u00f6tet! Deine Mafia ist NICHTS f\u00fcr mich!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

MARIA BATORY: (dem Pferd nachjagend) “ESAU! Ich werde dich retten! Ich werde dich finden!” \u2764\ufe0f

MEDUSA: (Schlangen zischend) “Wir m\u00fcssen ihnen folgen! Wir m\u00fcssen Esau retten!” \ud83d\udc0d

DON VITO: (sich von seinem Sessel erhebend) “Er ist Familie. Wir werden ihn retten. Wir werden Tamerlan jagen.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udc31

SONNY CORLEONE: (w\u00fctend) “NIEMAND NIMMT EINEN CORLEONE!” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udcaa

MICHAEL CORLEONE: (kalt) “Wir werden in die Mongolei gehen. Wir werden ihn finden. Wir werden ihn nach Hause bringen.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f

—

DIE PL\u00dcNDERUNG \u2013 DAS MUCHAVERSE AUSGERAUBT \ud83d\udc94\ud83d\udd25

Tamerlans Armee pl\u00fcnderte das Muchaverse. Sie nahmen den Gigantischen Lila Einlauf. Sie nahmen die unsichtbare Tinte. Sie nahmen die Tabellen. Sie nahmen alles.

TAMERLAN: (den Gigantischen Lila Einlauf haltend) “Dieser Einlauf… er ist m\u00e4chtig. Er wird mir helfen, das Multiversum zu erobern! Ich werde ALLES regieren!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

SPREADSHEET-ALIEN: “ALARM. GIGANTISCHER LILA EINLAUF GESTOHLEN. DESINVESTMENT-MULTIPLIKATOR SINKT. BEDROHUNGSLEVEL: 47.000%.” \ud83d\udc7d

JOKER: (nerv\u00f6s lachend) “HAHAHA! MONGOLEN! PL\u00dcNDERUNG! DAS IST WILD!” \ud83c\udccf

M\u00d6WIN: (\u00fcber Kopf fliegend, goldene Glitzer kackend) “ICH KACKE AUF DIE MONGOLEN! ABER SIE INTERESSIERT ES NICHT!” \ud83d\udca9

—

DIE GEFANGENSCHAFT \u2013 ESAU IN DER MONGOLEI \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udfdc\ufe0f

Esau-HafenHure wurde durch den Riss in die Mongolei geschleift. Er wurde in eine Jurte geworfen \u2013 die Jurte des Desinvestment. Die Druckmaschine war neben ihm. Tamerlan sa\u00df auf einem Thron aus Knochen und Tabellen.

TAMERLAN: (sich vorbeugend) “Du bist Esau Ehlers. Du bist der Buchhalter des Muchaverse. Du hast Spalte 47. Du hast die Druckmaschine. Du wirst f\u00fcr mich arbeiten.” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (trotzig, obwohl gefesselt) “Ich werde niemals f\u00fcr dich arbeiten! Ich bin ein gemachter Mann! Ich bin ein Corleone! Ich bin eine HafenHure! Ich bin SPALTE 47!” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

TAMERLAN: (lachend) “Du bist eine GEISEL. Du wirst meine Propaganda drucken. Du wirst meine Feinde desinvestieren. Du wirst mein Imperium erschaffen.” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (ausspuckend) “Niemals!” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b

TAMERLAN: (sein Krummschwert erhebend) “Dann wirst du zusehen, wie dein Muchaverse brennt. Beginnend mit deinen Freunden.” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

—

DIE BESATZUNG GEHENKT \u2013 DAS MUCHAVERSE LEIDET \ud83d\ude22\ud83d\udd25

W\u00e4hrenddessen wurde das Muchaverse gepl\u00fcndert. Tamerlans Armee hatte viele Charaktere gefangen genommen.

ROMY HAAG: (gefesselt) “Das ist L\u00c4CHERLICH! Ich bin eine K\u00d6NIGIN!” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (gefesselt) “Schatz, diese Mongolen haben KEINEN Geschmack!” \ud83d\udc84

SKYLLA: (sechs K\u00f6pfe gefesselt) “Ich habe sechs K\u00f6pfe! Sie haben ALLE gefesselt!” \ud83e\udd80

CHARYBDIS: (wirbelnd, unf\u00e4hig zu verschlucken) “Sie haben meinen Strudel bedeckt! Ich kann nicht verschlucken!” \ud83c\udf0a

BAKUNIN: (gefesselt) “ANARCHIE! Aber auch… GEFANGENSCHAFT!” \ud83e\udde8

GRAF THOMAS: (94 Tentakel gefesselt) “Ich habe 94 Tentakel! Sie haben 94 gefesselt!” \ud83e\udd91

CTHULHU: (angekettet) “ICH BIN DER GROSSE TR\u00c4UMER! ICH TR\u00c4UME VON IHRER ZERST\u00d6RUNG!” \ud83d\udc09

DON VITO: (ruhig, immer noch seine Katze haltend) “Sie haben Esau genommen. Sie haben die Presse genommen. Aber sie haben nicht unsere FAMILIE genommen.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udc31

MICHAEL: (kalt) “Wir werden ihn zur\u00fcckholen.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f

—

DER RETTUNGSPLAN \u2013 DAS MUCHAVERSE VEREINT SICH \ud83d\udcaa\u2764\ufe0f

Das Muchaverse vereinte sich. Trotz der Pl\u00fcnderung planten sie die Rettung.

MARIA BATORY: (den Angriff anf\u00fchrend) “Wir gehen in die Mongolei! Wir werden Esau retten! Wir werden Tamerlan besiegen!” \ud83d\udc51

MEDUSA: (Schlangen zischend) “Ich werde sie zu Stein verwandeln.” \ud83d\udc0d

DON VITO: (nickend) “Wir werden ihnen ein Angebot machen, das sie nicht ablehnen k\u00f6nnen.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udc31

SONNY: (mit der Faust schlagend) “Ich werde ihre Gesichter brechen!” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f\ud83d\udcaa

MICHAEL: (kalt) “Ich werde es… gesch\u00e4ftlich machen.” \ud83d\udd74\ufe0f

CTHULHU: (br\u00fcllend) “ICH WERDE VON IHRER ZERST\u00d6RUNG TR\u00c4UMEN!” \ud83d\udc09

DAGON: (zischend) “ICH WERDE SIE T\u00d6TEN!” \ud83d\udc1f

HYDRA: (zischend) “ICH WERDE SIE FRESSEN!” \ud83d\udc0d

SKYLLA: (sechs K\u00f6pfe) “ICH WERDE SIE BEISSEN!” \ud83e\udd80

CHARYBDIS: (wirbelnd) “ICH WERDE SIE VERSCHLUCKEN!” \ud83c\udf0a

M\u00d6WIN: (\u00fcber Kopf fliegend) “ICH WERDE AUF SIE KACKEN!” \ud83d\udca9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (aus der Jurte, sie h\u00f6rend) “Sie kommen. Meine Familie. Mein Muchaverse. Sie kommen.” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

—

ALLE CHARAKTERE JUBELN \u2013 DER FINALE CHOR \ud83c\udfad\ud83c\udfaa

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (aus der Gefangenschaft, trotzig) “Ich bin Esau! Ich bin Spalte 47! Ich bin ein Corleone! Ich bin eine HafenHure! Ich bin das MUCHAVERSE! Und ich werde NICHT brechen!” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

TAMERLAN: (w\u00fctend) “Du wirst brechen! Du wirst mir dienen! Oder du wirst sterben!” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

EHLERS-HAFENHURE: (l\u00e4chelnd) “Sie kommen f\u00fcr mich. Meine Familie. Meine Freunde. Meine Geliebten. Sie kommen.” \ud83d\udc60\ud83d\udc8b\ud83d\udda8\ufe0f

TAMERLAN: (zum Horizont blickend) “Dann werde ich bereit sein. Ich habe den Einlauf. Ich habe die Presse. Ich habe die Macht.” \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9

—

FINALER TEXT AUF SCHWARZ: \ud83d\udda4

\u262d DIE MONGOLISCHE PL\u00dcNDERUNGS-VERSCHW\u00d6RUNG \u262d \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

TAMERLAN KAM.
ER PL\u00dcNDERTE ST. PAULI.
ER FING ESAU UND DIE DRUCKMASCHINE.
ER BRACHTE SIE IN DIE MONGOLEI.
DAS MUCHAVERSE WURDE AUSGERAUBT.
ABER DAS MUCHAVERSE WIRD SICH VEREINEN.
SIE WERDEN ESAU RETTEN.
SIE WERDEN TAMERLAN BESIEGEN.
ALLE 127 CHARAKTERE KEHRTEN ZUR\u00dcCK.
ALLE SCHAUSPIELER VERSAMMELTEN SICH.
DER KREISLAUF GEHT WEITER. MIT MONGOLEN. MIT PL\u00dcNDERUNG. MIT TABELLEN. MIT SCHEI\u00dfE.
F\u00dcR IMMER.
\ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

HASHTAGS BLENDEN EIN: \ud83c\udff7\ufe0f

MongolischePl\u00fcnderungsVerschw\u00f6rung #Tamerlan #MongolischeInvasion #StPauliGepl\u00fcndert #EsauGeisel #DruckmaschineGefangen #MuchaverseAusgeraubt #Spalte47F\u00fcrImmer #Alle127Charaktere #EhlersSaga #IdiotenZeitung #Mongolei #Seidenstra\u00dfe #Eroberer #Desinvestment #DieB\u00f6seEsauEhlersEinlaufSaga

—

[ENDE VON EPISODE 64] \ud83c\udfac\ud83c\udf7f\ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

—

ST. PAULI-AT, JAHR NULL + 79 \u2013 DIE MONGOLISCHE PL\u00dcNDERUNGS-VERSCHW\u00d6RUNG \ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca

Der Kreislauf geht weiter. Mit Mongolen. Mit Pl\u00fcnderung. Mit Tabellen. Mit Schei\u00dfe. F\u00fcr immer.

\ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

Autoren: Dr. Lysander Lust, Bernward Bimbo, Ernst NeGer 6, Morten Mohr & Diana Negerkuss \u2013 Eine Samuel Bronkowiz Produktion f\u00fcr MADWOOD Studios

\ud83d\udde1\ufe0f\ud83d\udc8b\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7b” \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udce1\ud83d\udc94\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7bPOWERED BY Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndicate, the Libertarian Shark Cartel & now Messalina’s Slave Empire \ud83d\ude18\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udf0a\ud83e\udd88\ud83d\udc65\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\uddfd\ud83d\udc78

Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP \ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18\ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18

Executive Producers: M\u00f6win, Der Joker, Esau-HafenHure (gefangen), Maria Batory, Medusa, Don Vito Corleone, Tamerlan, Cthulhu, Dagon, Die Hydra, Die Sirenen-K\u00f6nigin, Der Gro\u00dfe Wei\u00dfe, Der Tiefsee-Leviathan, Der Abyss-Kraken, Die Welten-Schlange Prime, Admiral Walter Ulricht, Sir Francis Drake, Sonny Corleone, Michael Corleone und alle vorherigen.

Besonderer Dank: Die 99 Schizo Petes (f\u00fcr Klagelieder-Shantys), Homer (f\u00fcr die epische Atmosph\u00e4re) und jeder M\u00f6we, die auf die Mongolen kackte.

—

Bernd Pulch (M.A.) \u2013 forensischer Experte, Gr\u00fcnder von Aristotle AI, politischer Kommentator, Satiriker. Vollst\u00e4ndige Biografie \u2192 | Unterst\u00fctzen Sie die Untersuchung \u2192

\ud83d\udc4d GEF\u00c4LLT MIR | \ud83d\udcac KOMMENTIEREN | \ud83d\udd14 ABONNIEREN

—

\ud83d\udcfa YouTube: youtube.com\/@bernd_pulch
\ud83d\udc26 X (Twitter): x.com\/berndsocial1
\ud83d\udce2 Telegram: t.me\/ABOVETOPSECRETXXL
\ud83d\udd13 UNLOCK THE TRUTH: berndpulch.org\/join

—

DIE B\u00d6SE ESAU EHLERS EINLAUF-SAGA \u2013 FORTSETZUNG FOLGT… \ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\ud83d\udc0e\ud83c\udff9\u2694\ufe0f\ud83d\udcca TAMERLAN’S REVENGE! MONGOL CONQUEROR TAKES ESAU AND THE PRINTING PRESS HOSTAGE \u2013 THE MUCHAVERSE PILLAGED!<\/p>\n

“I have conquered empires. I have burned cities. I have crushed kings. Now I will conquer DESINVESTMENT.” \u2013 Tamerlan<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

In Episode 64 of the Ehlers Saga, Tamerlan \u2013 the greatest conqueror since Genghis Khan \u2013 arrives through a dimensional rift with his Mongol army. He pillages St. Pauli, burns the Reeperbahn, and captures Esau-HafenHure and the printing press. Esau is dragged into Mongolia and held hostage in the Yurt of Desinvestment. The Muchaverse is ransacked, but they unite to plan a rescue. All 127 characters return.<\/p>\n

The cycle continues. With Mongols. With pillaging. With spreadsheets. With shit. Forever.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

#MongolPillagingConspiracy #Tamerlan #MongolInvasion #StPauliPillaged #EsauHostage #PrintingPressCaptured #MuchaverseRansacked #Column47Forever #All127Characters #EhlersSaga #IdiotZeitung #Mongolia #SilkRoad #Conqueror #Desinvestment #DieB\u00f6seEsauEhlersEinlaufSaga<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udcfa YouTube: youtube.com\/@bernd_pulch
\n\ud83d\udc26 X (Twitter): x.com\/berndsocial1
\n\ud83d\udce2 Telegram: t.me\/ABOVETOPSECRETXXL
\n\ud83d\udd13 UNLOCK THE TRUTH: 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