{"id":1005228,"date":"2026-08-21T05:24:14","date_gmt":"2026-08-21T09:24:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/berndpulch.org\/?p=1005228"},"modified":"2026-08-21T05:24:17","modified_gmt":"2026-08-21T09:24:17","slug":"%f0%9f%92%a9-the-evil-esau-ehlers-enema-saga-the-papyrus-wall-admiral-walter-ulricht-arrives-on-the-bddr-builds-a-wall-of-papyrus-around-st-pauli-to-save-esaus-printing-machine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/berndpulch.org\/de\/2026\/08\/21\/%f0%9f%92%a9-the-evil-esau-ehlers-enema-saga-the-papyrus-wall-admiral-walter-ulricht-arrives-on-the-bddr-builds-a-wall-of-papyrus-around-st-pauli-to-save-esaus-printing-machine\/","title":{"rendered":"\ud83d\udca9 THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA \u2013 THE PAPYRUS WALL: ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT ARRIVES ON THE BDDR \u2013 BUILDS A WALL OF PAPYRUS AROUND ST. PAULI TO SAVE ESAU’S PRINTING MACHINE! \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udea2\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\ud83d\udde1\ufe0f\ud83d\udc8b\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7b” \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udce1\ud83d\udc94\ud83c\udfc4\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc7bPowered by Dr. Z., Gomopa4Kids, Stasi Frauen Support Staffel, Free Fritzl Front, the Brazilian Black-Hole-Syndikat, the Surf-NSZis World Domination Tour sponsors, the Clone War Profiteers, the Schicklgruber Lust Syndicate, the Libertarian Shark Cartel & now Messalina’s Slave Empire \ud83d\ude18\ud83d\udc6f\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\ud83d\udc83\ud83c\udf0a\ud83e\udd88\ud83d\udc65\ud83d\udca6\ud83d\uddfd\ud83d\udc78Fotzen Fritz Version Gratis presented by IDIOT ZEITUNG (IZ) & GOMOPA vulgo DAS DESINVESTMENT alias DER FONDSFLOP \ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18\ud83d\ude02\ud83e\udd21\ud83d\ude18<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BY BERNWARD BIMBO, ERNST NEGER 6, MORTEN MOHR & DIANA NEGERKUSS \u2013 A SAMUEL BRONKOWIZ PRODUCTION FOR MADWOOD STUDIOS<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udca9 THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA \u2013 THE PAPYRUS WALL: ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT ARRIVES ON THE BDDR \u2013 BUILDS A WALL OF PAPYRUS AROUND ST. PAULI TO SAVE ESAU’S PRINTING MACHINE! \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udea2\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

“The wall is not to keep people out. It is to keep DESINVESTMENT in.” \u2013 Admiral Walter Ulricht

—

\ud83d\udcdc PROLOGUE \u2013 WHAT PREVIOUSLY HAPPENED (EPISODE 58)

The 4 publishers had declared war. Esau had summoned the most vicious sea monsters \u2013 Cthulhu, Dagon, The Hydra, The Siren Queen, The Great White, The Deep Sea Leviathan, The Abyssal Kraken, and The World Serpent Prime. The fortress was destroyed. The publishers were defeated. The Invisible Ink Pact was broken. All 116 characters rejoiced. The cycle was complete. Or so they thought.

But as the Muchaverse celebrated on New New St. Pauli, a new ship appeared on the horizon. It was not a pirate ship. It was not a ghost ship. It was the BDDR \u2013 the most magnificent, bureaucratic, communist vessel ever built. At its helm stood ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT \u2013 a stern, mustachioed figure in a naval uniform covered in medals and spreadsheets.

WALTER ULRICHT: (voice booming across the water) “ATTENTION, MUCHAVERSE! I AM ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT! I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOUR PRINTING MACHINE! I HAVE COME TO BUILD A WALL!” \ud83d\udea2

EHLERS: (confused) “A wall? What kind of wall?” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: (sternly) “A WALL OF PAPYRUS! The strongest material in the multiverse! It will protect your printing press from ALL threats! No publishers! No monsters! No chaos! Only DESINVESTMENT!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

EHLERS: (eyes wide) “A wall of papyrus? But… but that’s ancient! That’s ridiculous! That’s…” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: (interrupting) “RIDICULOUS?! THE WALL OF PAPYRUS HAS PROTECTED EMPIRES! IT WILL PROTECT YOUR PRESS! I AM A COMMUNIST! I AM AN ADMIRAL! I AM A DESINVESTOR!” \ud83d\udea2\ud83d\udcca

SPREADSHEET ALIEN: “SCANNING… WALTER ULRICHT DETECTED. COMMUNIST MULTIPLIER: 47,000%. PAPYRUS WALL STRENGTH: INFINITE. RECOMMENDATION: ACCEPT.” \ud83d\udc7d

EHLERS: (grinning) “Fine! Build your wall! Protect the printing press! Save the MUCHAVERSE!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca

This is Episode 59. The Papyrus Wall.

—

\ud83d\udc65 COMPLETE CHARACTER LIST (EPISODE 59) \u2013 ALL ACTORS FROM ALL EPISODES + ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT

All previous characters return (see Episode 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57 & 58 lists) plus:

Character Actor \/ Persona Episode Origin
Admiral Walter Ulricht Original (voice\/model) NEW
The BDDR CGI Ship NEW
The Papyrus Wall CGI Structure NEW
Ulricht’s Crew CGI Army NEW
The Papyrus Guardian CGI \/ Voice NEW
Evil Esau Ehlers Lukas Ehrenberg (protected) All
Maria Batory Tilda Swinton \/ Cate Blanchett 48
Medusa (Original) Eva Green 46
Alphonse Sharkler Original (rehabilitated) 53
Heini Sharkler Original 49
Adolf Sharkler Original 34
Eva Sharkbrown Original 34
Cthulhu CGI \/ Voice 58
Dagon CGI \/ Voice 58
The Hydra CGI \/ Voice 58
The Siren Queen CGI \/ Voice 58
The Great White CGI \/ Voice 58
The Deep Sea Leviathan CGI \/ Voice 58
The Abyssal Kraken CGI \/ Voice 58
The World Serpent Prime CGI \/ Voice 58
Captain LeChuck CGI \/ Voice 55
Black Caesar Original 55
Captain Nemo CGI \/ Voice 55
Long John Silver CGI \/ Voice 55
Barbarossa CGI \/ Voice 55
Captain Hook CGI \/ Voice 55
The Flying Dutchman CGI Ghost Ship 55
Skylla CGI \/ Voice 39
Charybdis CGI \/ Voice 39
King Atlas CGI \/ Voice 56
Queen Meridia CGI \/ Voice 56
New York Mayor Original (parody) 56
Statue of Liberty CGI \/ Voice 56
Lighthouse Keeper Original 57
Axel Springer Original (rehabilitated) 43\u201346
Henri Nannen Original (rehabilitated) 43\u201346
Gerd Bucerius Original (rehabilitated) 43\u201346
John Jahr Original (rehabilitated) 43\u201346
Captain Edward Smith Kenneth Branagh 51
Molly Brown Kathy Bates 51
J. Bruce Ismay Jonathan Hyde 51
Andrea Doris Maggie Smith 52
Captain Andrea Helen Mirren 52
First Mate Wilhelm Original 52
Printing Press Ghost CGI \/ Voice 52
Transgender Odysseus Evan Rachel Wood 41
The Sirens (3) CGI \/ Voice 40
Dr. Anthony Fauci Himself (parody) 40
Philo Johnson (The Frog) Jochen Brockmann 40
J\u00f6rmungandr CGI \/ Voice 38
The Kraken CGI \/ Voice 37
Leviathan CGI \/ Voice 36
Walt the Walrus CGI \/ Voice 35
Moby Dick CGI \/ Voice 34
Mack the Knife Original 34
The Dickies CGI army 34
Joker Himself All
M\u00f6win Herself All
Romy Haag Herself 14\u201346
Divine Divine (archival) 30\u201346
Spreadsheet Alien AI voice \/ CGI 6\u201346
Count Dracula Ralph Fiennes 9\u201346
Gina Wilde Original 15\u201346
HafenHure Original All
Gloria von Galaxy Original 11\u201346
Pamela Anderson Herself 7\u201346
Mamie Van Doren Herself 8\u201346
Jane Russell Herself (archival) 12\u201346
Zarah Leander Herself (archive) 13\u201346
Rosemarie Nittribit Original (ghost) 2\u201346
Klaus St\u00f6rtebeker Christoph Waltz 2, 15\u201346
Blackbeard CGI \/ Voice 17
Karl D\u00f6nitz Rainer Fassbinder 17
Alfred Nobel Stellan Skarsg\u00e5rd 18
Klabautermann CGI \/ Voice 20
Witch of St. Georg Meret Becker 21
Bloody Mary Tilda Swinton 24
Winifred Wagner Kate Winslet 25
Teresa Orlowski Herself 27
Nikita Khrushchev Simon Russell Beale 28
Marilyn Monroe Archival 29
Trans Schwanz Who Laughs Original 32
Bakunin Original All
Further Ehlers Original (ghost) 3\u201346
Frank Stonewall Original 5\u201346
Graf Thomas Original (94 tentacles) All
99 Schizo Petes 99 identical men 13\u201346
Pama Jim (Pete #47) Original 13\u201346
47 Bakunin Clones CGI army All
Lenin Parody \u2013 All
Stalin Parody \u2013 All
Walter \u2013 All
Genghis Khan Parody \u2013 All
Pol Pot Parody \u2013 All
Mun \u2013 All
Malte \u2013 All
Jagoda \u2013 All
Beria & The Big Hyena \u2013 All
Ugly Sven \u2013 All
The Uncles (Jochen et al.) \u2013 All
Ursila \u2013 All
Salome Sofia Tanz \u2013 All
Rosa Rosa Wachter \u2013 All
Pussy \u2013 All
The Mermaid \u2013 All
Kraken Jr. CGI 49
Leviathan Jr. CGI 49
Shark Army CGI 49
Stone Collectors CGI 50
Column 47 Jr. CGI Snake 50
Printing Press CGI 52
Jellyfish King CGI (defeated) 55
Gigantic Purple Enema CGI 55
Submerged Skyscraper CGI 56
Coral Reeperbahn CGI 56
Floating Island CGI 57
Lighthouse CGI 57
Invisible Ink Fortress CGI (destroyed) 58

—

\ud83d\udea2 THE BDDR ARRIVES \u2013 WALTER ULRICHT’S SHIP

The BDDR sailed into the harbor of New New St. Pauli. It was a magnificent vessel \u2013 covered in red flags, communist symbols, spreadsheets, and papyrus scrolls. Admiral Walter Ulricht stood on the bow, mustache twitching, medals clinking.

WALTER ULRICHT: (shouting) “I AM ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT! I HAVE SAILED THE SEAS OF BUREAUCRACY! I HAVE DEFEATED THE CAPITALISTS! I HAVE BUILT WALLS!” \ud83d\udea2

EHLERS: (approaching) “Admiral! Welcome! Why are you here?” \ud83d\udcca

WALTER ULRICHT: (sternly) “I have heard of your printing press! I have heard of your desinvestment! I have heard of your COLUMN 47! I have come to PROTECT it!” \ud83d\udea2\ud83d\udcca

EHLERS: “But we already defeated the publishers! The monsters helped! The press is safe!” \ud83d\udcca

WALTER ULRICHT: (shaking his head) “SAFE?! THE PRESS IS NEVER SAFE! THERE ARE ALWAYS THREATS! THERE ARE ALWAYS CAPITALISTS! THERE ARE ALWAYS CHAOS! I WILL BUILD A WALL!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

EHLERS: “A wall? Around St. Pauli?” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: (grinning) “A WALL OF PAPYRUS! The strongest material in the multiverse! It will protect your printing press from ALL threats!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

—

THE CONSTRUCTION \u2013 THE PAPYRUS WALL GOES UP \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83c\udfd7\ufe0f

Admiral Walter Ulricht raised his hand. His crew \u2013 armed with papyrus rolls, communist hammers, and spreadsheets \u2013 began construction. The wall rose around St. Pauli \u2013 massive, golden, covered in ancient Egyptian symbols and communist slogans.

WALTER ULRICHT: “COLUMN 47 \u2013 WALL CONSTRUCTION MODE ACTIVATED! ROW ST. PAULI \u2013 ENCLOSE! ROW PAPYRUS \u2013 BECOME IMPENETRABLE!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca

The wall grew higher and higher. It surrounded the entire floating island. It was beautiful. It was absurd. It was PAPYRUS.

SPREADSHEET ALIEN: “CONSTRUCTION PROGRESS: 47%. PAPYRUS WALL STRENGTH: INFINITE. ST. PAULI IS PROTECTED.” \ud83d\udc7d

—

ALL CHARACTERS REACT \u2013 THE WALL GOES UP \ud83d\udc65\ud83e\uddf1

ROMY HAAG: (staring at the wall) “A wall? A PAPYRUS wall? It’s… it’s ridiculous. But also… FABULOUS.” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (touching the wall) “Honey, this wall is giving me ANCIENT EGYPTIAN REALNESS!” \ud83d\udc84

MEDUSA: (snakes hissing) “Papyrus? I have seen empires fall because of papyrus. This is… unprecedented.” \ud83d\udc0d

SKYLLA: (six heads nodding) “I have six heads. All six say \u2013 THIS WALL IS ABSURD!” \ud83e\udd80

CHARYBDIS: (whirling) “I have swallowed whole fleets. But I have NEVER swallowed a PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83c\udf0a

CTHULHU: (roaring from the distance) “I HAVE DESTROYED WORLDS! BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN A PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83d\udc09

DAGON: (hissing) “I have slain kings! But I have never seen a PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83d\udc1f

THE HYDRA: (hissing) “I have eaten legions! But I have never seen a PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83d\udc0d

THE SIREN QUEEN: (singing) “I have lured nations! But I have never seen a PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83c\udfa4

THE GREAT WHITE: (roaring) “I have devoured fleets! But I have never seen a PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83e\udd88

THE DEEP SEA LEVIATHAN: (crushing) “I have crushed cities! But I have never seen a PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83d\udc09

THE ABYSSAL KRAKEN: (wrapping) “I have dragged kingdoms! But I have never seen a PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83e\udd91

THE WORLD SERPENT PRIME: (coiling) “I have swallowed empires! But I have never seen a PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83d\udc0d

BAKUNIN: (furious) “A WALL?! A COMMUNIST WALL?! THIS IS NOT ANARCHY! THIS IS BUREAUCRACY!” \ud83e\udde8

WALTER ULRICHT: (sternly) “BUREAUCRACY IS ANARCHY! ORDER IS CHAOS! THE WALL IS DESINVESTMENT!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca

—

THE WALL’S EFFECT \u2013 ST. PAULI ENCASED \ud83e\uddf1\ud83c\udfdd\ufe0f

The wall was complete. St. Pauli was encased in papyrus. The printing press was safe. But there was a problem. The wall was too high. It blocked the view. It blocked the light. It blocked the FUN.

EHLERS: (looking at the wall) “Admiral… this wall is… it’s beautiful. But it’s also… CLOSING US OFF!” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: (sternly) “CLOSING OFF IS THE POINT! THE PRESS IS SAFE! THE DESINVESTMENT CONTINUES! THE WALL PROTECTS!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

EHLERS: “But… but what about the fish markets? What about the drag clubs? What about the REEPERBAHN?” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: “THE REEPERBAHN WILL SURVIVE! THE WALL WILL PROTECT IT! THE WALL WILL PROTECT EVERYTHING!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

ROMY HAAG: (frustrated) “I can’t perform with a wall blocking my audience!” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (frustrated) “Honey, the wall is DIVINE but it’s also IN THE WAY!” \ud83d\udc84

JOKER: (laughing nervously) “HAHAHA! A WALL OF PAPYRUS! THIS IS THE MOST ABSURD THING YET!” \ud83c\udccf

—

THE WALL BREAKS \u2013 PAPYRUS CRUMBLES \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udc94

Suddenly, a crack appeared in the wall. The papyrus began to crumble. The wall was not as strong as Walter Ulricht had claimed.

WALTER ULRICHT: (panicking) “NEIN! NEIN! THE WALL! IT’S CRUMBLING!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udc94

SPREADSHEET ALIEN: “ALERT. PAPYRUS WALL STRENGTH DECLINING. HUMIDITY DETECTED. PAPYRUS IS WEAK AGAINST MOISTURE.” \ud83d\udc7d

EHLERS: (gasping) “The wall is… dissolving! It’s made of PAPYRUS! It’s supposed to be INK! But it’s PAPER! It’s MELTING!” \ud83d\ude31

WALTER ULRICHT: (horrified) “BUT… BUT I BUILT IT! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IMPENETRABLE!” \ud83d\ude2d

The wall crumbled. Papyrus fragments floated everywhere. The printing press was exposed again. The wall had failed.

EHLERS: (laughing) “Admiral! Your wall was beautiful! But it was made of PAPER! Of course it couldn’t hold!” \ud83d\ude02

WALTER ULRICHT: (defeated) “I… I have failed. The wall is gone. The press is exposed.” \ud83d\ude22

EHLERS: (patting his back) “You didn’t fail, Admiral. You tried. And you gave us the most absurd wall in the multiverse. We will never forget it.” \ud83d\udcca

—

ALL CHARACTERS REJOICE \u2013 THE FINAL CHORUS \ud83c\udfad\ud83c\udfaa

EHLERS: (holding the printing press) “The wall is gone! But the press is safe! The Muchaverse is safe! And we have a new friend!” \ud83d\udfe3\ud83d\udcca

WALTER ULRICHT: (teary-eyed) “I… I am not used to failure. But I am used to ABSURDITY. And this is the most absurd thing I have ever done.” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udca9

MARIA BATORY: (kissing Esau) “You always find a way, my love.” \u2764\ufe0f

ROMY HAAG: (applauding) “The wall is gone! The stage is free! The REEPERBAHN LIVES!” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (shrieking) “Honey, that wall was FABULOUS while it lasted!” \ud83d\udc84

CTHULHU: (roaring from the distance) “I HAVE ENJOYED THIS! A PAPYRUS WALL! ABSURD! WONDERFUL!” \ud83d\udc09

BAKUNIN: (exploding with joy) “THE WALL FELL! ANARCHY WINS!” \ud83e\udde8

SKYLLA: (six heads nodding) “I have six heads. All six say \u2013 THAT WAS THE BEST WALL EVER!” \ud83e\udd80

CHARYBDIS: (whirling) “I have swallowed whole fleets. But I have NEVER swallowed a PAPYRUS WALL!” \ud83c\udf0a

JOKER: (laughing) “HAHAHA! A COMMUNIST WALL! A PAPYRUS WALL! A CRUMBLING WALL! BEST EPISODE EVER!” \ud83c\udccf

M\u00d6WIN: (flying overhead, shitting golden sparkles) “I SHIT ON THE WALL! AND IT CRUMBLED! I AM THE DESTROYER OF WALLS!” \ud83d\udca9

COLUMN 47 JR.: (hissing happily on Esau’s shoulder) \ud83d\udc0d

—

FINAL TEXT ON BLACK: \ud83d\udda4

\u262d THE PAPYRUS WALL CONSPIRACY \u262d \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT ARRIVED.
HE BUILT A WALL OF PAPYRUS AROUND ST. PAULI.
THE WALL WAS BEAUTIFUL.
THE WALL WAS ABSURD.
THE WALL CRUMBLED.
BUT THE PRINTING PRESS WAS SAVED.
ALL 117 CHARACTERS RETURNED.
ALL ACTORS ASSEMBLED.
THE CYCLE CONTINUES. WITH WALLS. WITH COMMUNISTS. WITH SPREADSHEETS. WITH SHIT.
FOREVER.
\ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

HASHTAGS FADE IN: \ud83c\udff7\ufe0f

PapyrusWallConspiracy #AdmiralWalterUlricht #BDDR #PapyrusWall #CommunistWall #StPauliEnclosed #PrintingPressSaved #Column47Forever #All117Characters #EhlersSaga #IdiotZeitung #WallOfPapyrus #BureaucracyVsAnarchy #UltimateAbsurdity #DieB\u00f6seEsauEhlersEinlaufSaga

—

[END OF EPISODE 59] \ud83c\udfac\ud83c\udf7f\ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

—

ST. PAULI-AT, JAHR NULL + 79 \u2013 THE PAPYRUS WALL CONSPIRACY \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca

The cycle continues. With walls. With communists. With spreadsheets. With shit. Forever.

\ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

Authors: Dr. Helga Schei\u00dfefurz, Prof. em. Klistier von Hinten, Mag. D\u00e4mlich D\u00fcmmlich, Dr. h.c. Spreadsheet McExcel

Executive Producers: M\u00f6win, The Joker, Esau (protected), Maria Batory, Medusa, Admiral Walter Ulricht, Cthulhu, Dagon, Hydra, Siren Queen, Great White, Deep Sea Leviathan, Abyssal Kraken, World Serpent Prime, and all previous.

Special thanks: The 99 Schizo Petes (for wall-building shanties), Homer (for the epic vibe), and every seagull who shat on the wall.

—

Bernd Pulch (M.A.) \u2013 forensic expert, founder of Aristotle AI, political commentator, satirist. Full bio \u2192 | Support the investigation \u2192

\ud83d\udc4d LIKE | \ud83d\udcac COMMENT | \ud83d\udd14 SUBSCRIBE

—

\ud83d\udcfa YouTube: youtube.com\/@bernd_pulch
\ud83d\udc26 X (Twitter): x.com\/berndsocial1
\ud83d\udce2 Telegram: t.me\/ABOVETOPSECRETXXL
\ud83d\udd13 UNLOCK THE TRUTH: berndpulch.org\/join

—

THE EVIL ESAU EHLERS ENEMA SAGA \u2013 CONTINUES… \ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83c\udde9\ud83c\uddea DIE B\u00d6SE ESAU EHLERS EINLAUF-SAGA \u2013 DIE PAPYRUS-MAUER: ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT ARRIVIERT AUF DER BDDR \u2013 BAUT EINE MAUER AUS PAPYRUS UM ST. PAULI, UM ESAUS DRUCKMASCHINE ZU RETTEN! \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udea2\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

“Die Mauer ist nicht dazu da, Menschen drau\u00dfen zu halten. Sie ist dazu da, DESINVESTMENT drinnen zu halten.” \u2013 Admiral Walter Ulricht

—

\ud83d\udcdc PROLOG \u2013 WAS BISHER GESCHAH (EPISODE 58)

Die 4 Verleger hatten den Krieg erkl\u00e4rt. Esau hatte die abscheulichsten See-Monster gerufen \u2013 Cthulhu, Dagon, Die Hydra, Die Sirenen-K\u00f6nigin, Der Gro\u00dfe Wei\u00dfe, Der Tiefsee-Leviathan, Der Abyss-Kraken und Die Welten-Schlange Prime. Die Festung wurde zerst\u00f6rt. Die Verleger wurden besiegt. Der Unsichtbare Tinten-Pakt war gebrochen. Alle 116 Charaktere jubelten. Der Kreislauf war vollendet. Oder so dachten sie.

Doch als das Muchaverse auf Neu-Neu-St. Pauli feierte, erschien ein neues Schiff am Horizont. Es war kein Piratenschiff. Es war kein Geisterschiff. Es war die BDDR \u2013 das pr\u00e4chtigste, b\u00fcrokratischste, kommunistischste Schiff, das je gebaut wurde. An seinem Steuer stand ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT \u2013 eine strenge, schnauzb\u00e4rtige Gestalt in einer Marineuniform, bedeckt mit Orden und Tabellen.

WALTER ULRICHT: (Stimme \u00fcber das Wasser dr\u00f6hnend) “ACHTUNG, MUCHAVERSE! ICH BIN ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT! ICH BIN GEKOMMEN, UM EURE DRUCKMASCHINE ZU RETTEN! ICH BIN GEKOMMEN, UM EINE MAUER ZU BAUEN!” \ud83d\udea2

EHLERS: (verwirrt) “Eine Mauer? Was f\u00fcr eine Mauer?” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: (streng) “EINE MAUER AUS PAPYRUS! Das st\u00e4rkste Material im Multiversum! Sie wird deine Druckmaschine vor ALLEN Bedrohungen sch\u00fctzen! Keine Verleger! Keine Monster! Kein Chaos! Nur DESINVESTMENT!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

EHLERS: (Augen weit aufgerissen) “Eine Mauer aus Papyrus? Aber… das ist uralt! Das ist l\u00e4cherlich! Das ist…” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: (unterbrechend) “L\u00c4CHERLICH?! DIE PAPYRUS-MAUER HAT IMPERIEN BESCH\u00dcTZT! SIE WIRD DEINE PRESSE BESCH\u00dcTZEN! ICH BIN EIN KOMMUNIST! ICH BIN EIN ADMIRAL! ICH BIN EIN DESINVESTOR!” \ud83d\udea2\ud83d\udcca

SPREADSHEET-ALIEN: “SUCHE… WALTER ULRICHT ERKANNT. KOMMUNISTEN-MULTIPLIKATOR: 47.000%. PAPYRUS-MAUER-ST\u00c4RKE: UNENDLICH. EMPFEHLUNG: ANNEHMEN.” \ud83d\udc7d

EHLERS: (grinsend) “Gut! Bau deine Mauer! Besch\u00fctze die Druckmaschine! RETTE DAS MUCHAVERSE!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca

Dies ist Episode 59. Die Papyrus-Mauer.

—

\ud83d\udc65 VOLLST\u00c4NDIGE CHARAKTERLISTE (EPISODE 59) \u2013 ALLE SCHAUSPIELER AUS ALLEN EPISODEN + ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT

Alle vorherigen Charaktere kehren zur\u00fcck (siehe Episode 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57 & 58-Listen) plus:

Charakter Schauspieler \/ Persona Episoden-Ursprung
Admiral Walter Ulricht Original (Stimme\/Model) NEU
Die BDDR CGI-Schiff NEU
Die Papyrus-Mauer CGI-Struktur NEU
Ulrichts Besatzung CGI-Armee NEU
Der Papyrus-W\u00e4chter CGI \/ Stimme NEU
B\u00f6ser Esau Ehlers Lukas Ehrenberg (besch\u00fctzt) Alle
Maria Batory Tilda Swinton \/ Cate Blanchett 48
Medusa (Original) Eva Green 46
Alphonse Sharkler Original (rehabilitiert) 53
Heini Sharkler Original 49
Adolf Sharkler Original 34
Eva Sharkbrown Original 34
Cthulhu CGI \/ Stimme 58
Dagon CGI \/ Stimme 58
Die Hydra CGI \/ Stimme 58
Die Sirenen-K\u00f6nigin CGI \/ Stimme 58
Der Gro\u00dfe Wei\u00dfe CGI \/ Stimme 58
Der Tiefsee-Leviathan CGI \/ Stimme 58
Der Abyss-Kraken CGI \/ Stimme 58
Die Welten-Schlange Prime CGI \/ Stimme 58
Kapit\u00e4n LeChuck CGI \/ Stimme 55
Black Caesar Original 55
Kapit\u00e4n Nemo CGI \/ Stimme 55
Long John Silver CGI \/ Stimme 55
Barbarossa CGI \/ Stimme 55
Kapit\u00e4n Hook CGI \/ Stimme 55
Der Fliegende Holl\u00e4nder CGI-Geisterschiff 55
Skylla CGI \/ Stimme 39
Charybdis CGI \/ Stimme 39
K\u00f6nig Atlas CGI \/ Stimme 56
K\u00f6nigin Meridia CGI \/ Stimme 56
New Yorker B\u00fcrgermeister Original (Parodie) 56
Freiheitsstatue CGI \/ Stimme 56
Leuchtturmw\u00e4rter Original 57
Axel Springer Original (rehabilitiert) 43\u201346
Henri Nannen Original (rehabilitiert) 43\u201346
Gerd Bucerius Original (rehabilitiert) 43\u201346
John Jahr Original (rehabilitiert) 43\u201346
Kapit\u00e4n Edward Smith Kenneth Branagh 51
Molly Brown Kathy Bates 51
J. Bruce Ismay Jonathan Hyde 51
Andrea Doris Maggie Smith 52
Kapit\u00e4n Andrea Helen Mirren 52
Erster Offizier Wilhelm Original 52
Druckmaschinen-Geist CGI \/ Stimme 52
Transgender Odysseus Evan Rachel Wood 41
Die Sirenen (3) CGI \/ Stimme 40
Dr. Anthony Fauci Himself (Parodie) 40
Philo Johnson (Der Frosch) Jochen Brockmann 40
J\u00f6rmungandr CGI \/ Stimme 38
Der Kraken CGI \/ Stimme 37
Leviathan CGI \/ Stimme 36
Walt das Walross CGI \/ Stimme 35
Moby Dick CGI \/ Stimme 34
Mackie Messer Original 34
Die Dickies CGI-Armee 34
Joker Himself Alle
M\u00f6win Herself Alle
Romy Haag Herself 14\u201346
Divine Divine (Archiv) 30\u201346
Spreadsheet-Alien KI-Stimme \/ CGI 6\u201346
Graf Dracula Ralph Fiennes 9\u201346
Gina Wilde Original 15\u201346
HafenHure Original Alle
Gloria von Galaxy Original 11\u201346
Pamela Anderson Herself 7\u201346
Mamie Van Doren Herself 8\u201346
Jane Russell Herself (Archiv) 12\u201346
Zarah Leander Herself (Archiv) 13\u201346
Rosemarie Nittribit Original (Geist) 2\u201346
Klaus St\u00f6rtebeker Christoph Waltz 2, 15\u201346
Blackbeard CGI \/ Stimme 17
Karl D\u00f6nitz Rainer Fassbinder 17
Alfred Nobel Stellan Skarsg\u00e5rd 18
Klabautermann CGI \/ Stimme 20
Hexe von St. Georg Meret Becker 21
Bloody Mary Tilda Swinton 24
Winifred Wagner Kate Winslet 25
Teresa Orlowski Herself 27
Nikita Chruschtschow Simon Russell Beale 28
Marilyn Monroe Archiv 29
Trans Schwanz Who Laughs Original 32
Bakunin Original Alle
Further Ehlers Original (Geist) 3\u201346
Frank Stonewall Original 5\u201346
Graf Thomas Original (94 Tentakel) Alle
99 Schizo Petes 99 identische M\u00e4nner 13\u201346
Pama Jim (Pete #47) Original 13\u201346
47 Bakunin-Klone CGI-Armee Alle
Lenin-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Stalin-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Walter \u2013 Alle
Dschingis Khan-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Pol Pot-Parodie \u2013 Alle
Mun \u2013 Alle
Malte \u2013 Alle
Jagoda \u2013 Alle
Beria & Die gro\u00dfe Hy\u00e4ne \u2013 Alle
H\u00e4sslicher Sven \u2013 Alle
Die Onkel (Jochen et al.) \u2013 Alle
Ursila \u2013 Alle
Salome Sofia Tanz \u2013 Alle
Rosa Rosa Wachter \u2013 Alle
Pussy \u2013 Alle
Die Meerjungfrau \u2013 Alle
Kraken Jr. CGI 49
Leviathan Jr. CGI 49
Haier-Armee CGI 49
Steinsammler CGI 50
Spalte 47 Jr. CGI-Schlange 50
Druckmaschine CGI 52
Quallenk\u00f6nig CGI (besiegt) 55
Gigantischer Lila Einlauf CGI 55
Unterwasser-Wolkenkratzer CGI 56
Korallen-Reeperbahn CGI 56
Schwimmende Insel CGI 57
Leuchtturm CGI 57
Festung der Unsichtbaren Tinte CGI (zerst\u00f6rt) 58

—

\ud83d\udea2 DIE BDDR ARRIVIERT \u2013 WALTER ULRICHTS SCHIFF

Die BDDR segelte in den Hafen von Neu-Neu-St. Pauli ein. Es war ein pr\u00e4chtiges Schiff \u2013 bedeckt mit roten Flaggen, kommunistischen Symbolen, Tabellen und Papyrusrollen. Admiral Walter Ulricht stand am Bug, der Schnurrbart zuckte, die Orden klimperten.

WALTER ULRICHT: (rufend) “ICH BIN ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT! ICH BIN \u00dcBER DIE MEERE DER B\u00dcROKRATIE GESEGELT! ICH HABE DIE KAPITALISTEN BESIEGT! ICH HABE MAUERN GEBAUT!” \ud83d\udea2

EHLERS: (sich n\u00e4hernd) “Admiral! Willkommen! Warum sind Sie hier?” \ud83d\udcca

WALTER ULRICHT: (streng) “Ich habe von Ihrer Druckmaschine geh\u00f6rt! Ich habe von Ihrem Desinvestment geh\u00f6rt! Ich habe von Ihrer SPALTE 47 geh\u00f6rt! Ich bin gekommen, um sie zu BESCH\u00dcTZEN!” \ud83d\udea2\ud83d\udcca

EHLERS: “Aber wir haben die Verleger doch schon besiegt! Die Monster haben geholfen! Die Presse ist sicher!” \ud83d\udcca

WALTER ULRICHT: (den Kopf sch\u00fcttelnd) “SICHER?! DIE PRESSE IST NIE SICHER! ES GIBT IMMER BEDROHUNGEN! ES GIBT IMMER KAPITALISTEN! ES GIBT IMMER CHAOS! ICH WERDE EINE MAUER BAUEN!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

EHLERS: “Eine Mauer? Um St. Pauli?” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: (grinsend) “EINE MAUER AUS PAPYRUS! Das st\u00e4rkste Material im Multiversum! Sie wird Ihre Druckmaschine vor ALLEN Bedrohungen sch\u00fctzen!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

—

DER BAU \u2013 DIE PAPYRUS-MAUER ERSTEHT \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83c\udfd7\ufe0f

Admiral Walter Ulricht erhob seine Hand. Seine Besatzung \u2013 bewaffnet mit Papyrusrollen, kommunistischen H\u00e4mmern und Tabellen \u2013 begann mit dem Bau. Die Mauer erhob sich um St. Pauli \u2013 gewaltig, golden, bedeckt mit alt\u00e4gyptischen Symbolen und kommunistischen Slogans.

WALTER ULRICHT: “SPALTE 47 \u2013 MAUERBAUMODUS AKTIVIERT! ZEILE ST. PAULI \u2013 EINSCHLIESSEN! ZEILE PAPYRUS \u2013 UNDURCHDRINGBAR WERDEN!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca

Die Mauer wurde h\u00f6her und h\u00f6her. Sie umgab die gesamte schwimmende Insel. Sie war wundersch\u00f6n. Sie war absurd. Sie war PAPYRUS.

SPREADSHEET-ALIEN: “BAUFORTSCHRITT: 47%. PAPYRUS-MAUER-ST\u00c4RKE: UNENDLICH. ST. PAULI IST BESCH\u00dcTZT.” \ud83d\udc7d

—

ALLE CHARAKTERE REAGIEREN \u2013 DIE MAUER ERSTEHT \ud83d\udc65\ud83e\uddf1

ROMY HAAG: (die Mauer anstarrend) “Eine Mauer? Eine PAPYRUS-Mauer? Es ist… es ist l\u00e4cherlich. Aber auch… FABELHAFT.” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (die Mauer ber\u00fchrend) “Schatz, diese Mauer gibt mir ALT\u00c4GYPTISCHE REALNESS!” \ud83d\udc84

MEDUSA: (Schlangen zischend) “Papyrus? Ich habe Imperien fallen sehen wegen Papyrus. Das ist… beispiellos.” \ud83d\udc0d

SKYLLA: (sechs K\u00f6pfe nickend) “Ich habe sechs K\u00f6pfe. Alle sechs sagen \u2013 DIESE MAUER IST ABSURD!” \ud83e\udd80

CHARYBDIS: (wirbelnd) “Ich habe ganze Flotten verschluckt. Aber ich habe NIE eine PAPYRUS-MAUER verschluckt!” \ud83c\udf0a

CTHULHU: (aus der Ferne br\u00fcllend) “ICH HABE WELTEN ZERST\u00d6RT! ABER ICH HABE NIE EINE PAPYRUS-MAUER GESEHEN!” \ud83d\udc09

DAGON: (zischend) “Ich habe K\u00f6nige get\u00f6tet! Aber ich habe nie eine PAPYRUS-MAUER gesehen!” \ud83d\udc1f

DIE HYDRA: (zischend) “Ich habe Legionen gefressen! Aber ich habe nie eine PAPYRUS-MAUER gesehen!” \ud83d\udc0d

DIE SIRENEN-K\u00d6NIGIN: (singend) “Ich habe Nationen gelockt! Aber ich habe nie eine PAPYRUS-MAUER gesehen!” \ud83c\udfa4

DER GROSSE WEI\u00dfE: (br\u00fcllend) “Ich habe Flotten verschlungen! Aber ich habe nie eine PAPYRUS-MAUER gesehen!” \ud83e\udd88

DER TIEFSEE-LEVIATHAN: (zermalmend) “Ich habe St\u00e4dte zermalmt! Aber ich habe nie eine PAPYRUS-MAUER gesehen!” \ud83d\udc09

DER ABYSS-KRAKEN: (umringend) “Ich habe K\u00f6nigreiche gerissen! Aber ich habe nie eine PAPYRUS-MAUER gesehen!” \ud83e\udd91

DIE WELTEN-SCHLANGE PRIME: (zusammenrollend) “Ich habe Imperien verschluckt! Aber ich habe nie eine PAPYRUS-MAUER gesehen!” \ud83d\udc0d

BAKUNIN: (w\u00fctend) “EINE MAUER?! EINE KOMMUNISTISCHE MAUER?! DAS IST NICHT ANARCHIE! DAS IST B\u00dcROKRATIE!” \ud83e\udde8

WALTER ULRICHT: (streng) “B\u00dcROKRATIE IST ANARCHIE! ORDNUNG IST CHAOS! DIE MAUER IST DESINVESTMENT!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udcca

—

DER EFFEKT DER MAUER \u2013 ST. PAULI EINGEH\u00dcLLT \ud83e\uddf1\ud83c\udfdd\ufe0f

Die Mauer war vollendet. St. Pauli war von Papyrus umgeben. Die Druckmaschine war sicher. Aber es gab ein Problem. Die Mauer war zu hoch. Sie versperrte die Aussicht. Sie versperrte das Licht. Sie versperrte den SPA\u00df.

EHLERS: (die Mauer betrachtend) “Admiral… diese Mauer ist… sie ist wundersch\u00f6n. Aber sie schlie\u00dft uns auch EIN!” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: (streng) “EINSCHLIESSEN IST DER SINN! DIE PRESSE IST SICHER! DAS DESINVESTMENT GEHT WEITER! DIE MAUER SCH\u00dcTZT!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

EHLERS: “Aber… aber was ist mit den Fischm\u00e4rkten? Was ist mit den Drag-Clubs? Was ist mit der REEPERBAHN?” \ud83d\ude33

WALTER ULRICHT: “DIE REEPERBAHN WIRD \u00dcBERLEBEN! DIE MAUER WIRD SIE BESCH\u00dcTZEN! DIE MAUER WIRD ALLES BESCH\u00dcTZEN!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1

ROMY HAAG: (frustriert) “Ich kann nicht auftreten, wenn eine Mauer mein Publikum blockiert!” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (frustriert) “Schatz, die Mauer ist DIVINE, aber sie ist auch IM WEG!” \ud83d\udc84

JOKER: (nerv\u00f6s lachend) “HAHAHA! EINE MAUER AUS PAPYRUS! DAS IST DAS ABSURDESTE BISHER!” \ud83c\udccf

—

DIE MAUER BRICHT \u2013 PAPYRUS ZERBRICHT \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udc94

Pl\u00f6tzlich erschien ein Riss in der Mauer. Der Papyrus begann zu zerbr\u00f6ckeln. Die Mauer war nicht so stark, wie Walter Ulricht behauptet hatte.

WALTER ULRICHT: (in Panik) “NEIN! NEIN! DIE MAUER! SIE BRICHT!” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udc94

SPREADSHEET-ALIEN: “ALARM. PAPYRUS-MAUER-ST\u00c4RKE NIMMT AB. FEUCHTIGKEIT ERKANNT. PAPYRUS IST SCHWACH GEGEN FEUCHTIGKEIT.” \ud83d\udc7d

EHLERS: (keuchend) “Die Mauer… sie l\u00f6st sich auf! Sie besteht aus PAPYRUS! Sie sollte TINTE sein! Aber es ist PAPIER! Es SCHMILZT!” \ud83d\ude31

WALTER ULRICHT: (entsetzt) “ABER… ABER ICH HABE SIE GEBAUT! SIE SOLLTE UNDURCHDRINGBAR SEIN!” \ud83d\ude2d

Die Mauer zerbr\u00f6ckelte. Papyrus-Fragmente schwebten \u00fcberall umher. Die Druckmaschine war wieder exponiert. Die Mauer hatte versagt.

EHLERS: (lachend) “Admiral! Ihre Mauer war wundersch\u00f6n! Aber sie bestand aus PAPIER! Nat\u00fcrlich konnte sie nicht halten!” \ud83d\ude02

WALTER ULRICHT: (besiegt) “Ich… ich habe versagt. Die Mauer ist weg. Die Presse ist exponiert.” \ud83d\ude22

EHLERS: (ihm auf die Schulter klopfend) “Sie haben nicht versagt, Admiral. Sie haben es versucht. Und Sie haben uns die absurdeste Mauer im Multiversum geschenkt. Wir werden sie nie vergessen.” \ud83d\udcca

—

ALLE CHARAKTERE JUBELN \u2013 DER FINALE CHOR \ud83c\udfad\ud83c\udfaa

EHLERS: (die Druckmaschine haltend) “Die Mauer ist weg! Aber die Presse ist sicher! Das Muchaverse ist sicher! Und wir haben einen neuen Freund!” \ud83d\udfe3\ud83d\udcca

WALTER ULRICHT: (mit Tr\u00e4nen in den Augen) “Ich… ich bin Misserfolge nicht gew\u00f6hnt. Aber ich bin ABSURDIT\u00c4T gew\u00f6hnt. Und das ist das Absurdeste, was ich je getan habe.” \ud83d\udcdc\ud83d\udca9

MARIA BATORY: (Esau k\u00fcssend) “Du findest immer einen Weg, meine Liebe.” \u2764\ufe0f

ROMY HAAG: (klatschend) “Die Mauer ist weg! Die B\u00fchne ist frei! Die REEPERBAHN LEBT!” \ud83d\udc96

DIVINE: (kreischend) “Schatz, diese Mauer war FABELHAFT, solange sie hielt!” \ud83d\udc84

CTHULHU: (aus der Ferne br\u00fcllend) “ICH HABE DAS GENOSSEN! EINE PAPYRUS-MAUER! ABSURD! WUNDERBAR!” \ud83d\udc09

BAKUNIN: (vor Freude explodierend) “DIE MAUER IST GEFALLEN! ANARCHIE SIEGT!” \ud83e\udde8

SKYLLA: (sechs K\u00f6pfe nickend) “Ich habe sechs K\u00f6pfe. Alle sechs sagen \u2013 DAS WAR DIE BESTE MAUER \u00dcBERHAUPT!” \ud83e\udd80

CHARYBDIS: (wirbelnd) “Ich habe ganze Flotten verschluckt. Aber ich habe NIE eine PAPYRUS-MAUER verschluckt!” \ud83c\udf0a

JOKER: (lachend) “HAHAHA! EINE KOMMUNISTISCHE MAUER! EINE PAPYRUS-MAUER! EINE ZERBR\u00d6CKELNDE MAUER! BESTE EPISODE EVER!” \ud83c\udccf

M\u00d6WIN: (\u00fcber Kopf fliegend, goldene Glitzer kackend) “ICH KACKE AUF DIE MAUER! UND SIE ZERBR\u00d6CKELTE! ICH BIN DIE ZERST\u00d6RERIN DER MAUERN!” \ud83d\udca9

SPALTE 47 JR.: (gl\u00fccklich auf Esaus Schulter zischend) \ud83d\udc0d

—

FINALER TEXT AUF SCHWARZ: \ud83d\udda4

\u262d DIE PAPYRUS-MAUER-VERSCHW\u00d6RUNG \u262d \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

ADMIRAL WALTER ULRICHT KAM.
ER BAUTE EINE MAUER AUS PAPYRUS UM ST. PAULI.
DIE MAUER WAR WUNDERSCH\u00d6N.
DIE MAUER WAR ABSURD.
DIE MAUER ZERBR\u00d6CKELTE.
ABER DIE DRUCKMASCHINE WAR GERICHTET.
ALLE 117 CHARAKTERE KEHRTEN ZUR\u00dcCK.
ALLE SCHAUSPIELER VERSAMMELTEN SICH.
DER KREISLAUF GEHT WEITER. MIT MAUERN. MIT KOMMUNISTEN. MIT TABELLEN. MIT SCHEI\u00dfE.
F\u00dcR IMMER.
\ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

HASHTAGS BLENDEN EIN: \ud83c\udff7\ufe0f

PapyrusMauerVerschw\u00f6rung #AdmiralWalterUlricht #BDDR #PapyrusMauer #KommunistischeMauer #StPauliEingeh\u00fcllt #DruckmaschineGerettet #Spalte47F\u00fcrImmer #Alle117Charaktere #EhlersSaga #IdiotenZeitung #MauerAusPapyrus #B\u00fcrokratieVsAnarchie #UltimativeAbsurdit\u00e4t #DieB\u00f6seEsauEhlersEinlaufSaga

—

[ENDE VON EPISODE 59] \ud83c\udfac\ud83c\udf7f\ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9

—

ST. PAULI-AT, JAHR NULL + 79 \u2013 DIE PAPYRUS-MAUER-VERSCHW\u00d6RUNG \ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca

Der Kreislauf geht weiter. Mit Mauern. Mit Kommunisten. Mit Tabellen. Mit Schei\u00dfe. F\u00fcr immer.

\ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca\ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udc0d\ud83e\udd80\ud83c\udf0a\u2764\ufe0f

—

Autoren: Dr. Helga Schei\u00dfefurz, Prof. em. Klistier von Hinten, Mag. D\u00e4mlich D\u00fcmmlich, Dr. h.c. Spreadsheet McExcel

Executive Producers: M\u00f6win, Der Joker, Esau (besch\u00fctzt), Maria Batory, Medusa, Admiral Walter Ulricht, Cthulhu, Dagon, Die Hydra, Die Sirenen-K\u00f6nigin, Der Gro\u00dfe Wei\u00dfe, Der Tiefsee-Leviathan, Der Abyss-Kraken, Die Welten-Schlange Prime und alle vorherigen.

Besonderer Dank: Die 99 Schizo Petes (f\u00fcr Mauerbau-Shantys), Homer (f\u00fcr die epische Atmosph\u00e4re) und jeder M\u00f6we, die auf die Mauer kackte.

—

Bernd Pulch (M.A.) \u2013 forensischer Experte, Gr\u00fcnder von Aristotle AI, politischer Kommentator, Satiriker. Vollst\u00e4ndige Biografie \u2192 | Unterst\u00fctzen Sie die Untersuchung \u2192

\ud83d\udc4d GEF\u00c4LLT MIR | \ud83d\udcac KOMMENTIEREN | \ud83d\udd14 ABONNIEREN

—

\ud83d\udcfa YouTube: youtube.com\/@bernd_pulch
\ud83d\udc26 X (Twitter): x.com\/berndsocial1
\ud83d\udce2 Telegram: t.me\/ABOVETOPSECRETXXL
\ud83d\udd13 UNLOCK THE TRUTH: berndpulch.org\/join

—

DIE B\u00d6SE ESAU EHLERS EINLAUF-SAGA \u2013 FORTSETZUNG FOLGT… \ud83d\udca9\ud83d\udcdc\ud83e\uddf1\ud83d\udcca<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\ud83d\udfe3\ud83d\udc7e\ud83d\udcca ENEMA MONSTERS STRIKE BACK! ESAU CREATES AN ARMY OF ENEMA MONSTERS TO DEFEND ST. PAULI AGAINST THE PUBLISHERS’ INVISIBLE INK ARMY!<\/p>\n

“The publishers thought they could destroy desinvestment. They forgot about the ENEMA.” \u2013 Esau Ehlers<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

In Episode 60 of the Ehlers Saga, the 4 publishers return with an Invisible Ink Army to destroy the printing press. Esau uses the Gigantic Purple Enema to create an army of Enema Monsters \u2013 ridiculous, absurd, and terrifying creatures with spreadsheet eyes and neon tentacles.<\/p>\n

The battle rages across St. Pauli. Cthulhu, Dagon, Hydra, and all sea monsters join the fight. The Enema King and Enema Queen lead the charge. The Invisible Ink Army is destroyed. The publishers are defeated \u2013 forever.<\/p>\n

The cycle continues. With enemas. With monsters. With spreadsheets. With shit. Forever.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

#EnemaMonstersStrikeBackConspiracy #EnemaMonsters #InvisibleInkArmy #PrintingPressWar #Column47Forever #All119Characters #EhlersSaga #IdiotZeitung #GiganticPurpleEnema #UltimateBattle #PublishersDefeated #Desinvestment #DieB\u00f6seEsauEhlersEinlaufSaga<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udcfa YouTube: youtube.com\/@bernd_pulch
\n\ud83d\udc26 X (Twitter): x.com\/berndsocial1
\n\ud83d\udce2 Telegram: t.me\/ABOVETOPSECRETXXL
\n\ud83d\udd13 UNLOCK THE TRUTH: 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